Sunday, September 03, 2006

Caption Central

"Rumsfeld begs our Parton" edition

--EASY: Three of the the biggest boobs in America
--Unfortunately, Rumsfeld couldn't fake his way around "9 to 5" in any sense
--Can't spell "Grand Ole Opry" without "G-O-P"
--When you play this record backwards, Rumsfeld gets his popularity back, his credibility back, his previously sterling reputation back...
--Meet the USO's newest comedian, Bob Hopeless!
--Tonight, on BET...
--It's the Grand Ole Photo-Oppory!
--While Rumsfeld uses his left hand to show what he'd like to be doing to Dolly, she uses both hands to show what she'd like to do to his neck
--And just like that, appearing in the Beverly Hillbillies movie becomes Dolly Parton's second-most embarrassing cameo
--Recruiting at the Grand Ole Opry seemed like such a great idea at the time...
--"I'm looking for a few Steel Magnolias."
--What better place for a chickenhawk than a barn dance?
--"No, Mr. Secretary! This isn't Un-American Idol!"
--"Attention, KMart shoppers! Blue light special on aisle five!"
--Does Jerry Lewis have competition now?
--"And now, I will fiddle while Iraq burns."
--Rumsfeld hands over his post to someone twice as famous and twice as qualified

1 comment:

Phillip said...

BET -- hilarious.