Sunday, August 20, 2006

Caption Central

"Snake on a plane" edition

--John Mark Karr's capture has made the world safe for the continued sexualization of wealthy prepubescents
--Worst Mormon missionary. Ever.
--Authorities did not handcuff Karr, figuring that embarrassment alone would keep him in line
--He would have been caught 10 years ago, but he redshirted
--He looks like the type who favors blue-eyed blondes, if you know what I mean
--If mistakes make the best teachers, then this guy must have been Merlin
--"I've got cold cream in my pocket. Really, what are they gonna do?"
--A barf bag would be redundant
--A pasty, skinny white guy going to prison for child molestation and murder? Bet he begs for the death penalty!
--Prompted by Karr's arrest, airports will increase scrutiny of all white men
--Evidently, he practiced his strangulation technique on his own neck
--Karr further damaged his credibility by asking for a box of Ramses
--A true hands-on teacher, Karr teaches his kids to say, "loser"
--Meanwhile, media students have learned to say, "distraction"
--America wants to block Mexican immigrants, but they let in this guy?
--Karr has made an entire nation feel sorry for child-exploiting Colorado millionaires. Have you no soul, man?

4 comments:

Jester said...

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20209545-2703,00.html

Meanwhile, those of us who don't rape children get to eat bologna sandwiches.

Ian McGibboney said...

Yes, life's unfair. So is the gap between rich and poor, and famous and non-famous.

Personally, I'm not all that certain he did it. I do think, however, that the guy has a serious problem either way; obviously if he did it, but also if he didn't and is willing to have the world think he molested and killed JonBenet.

Jester said...

Don't get all socialist on me again, Che. I'm not saying life's unfair -- I'm saying that the FBI is stupid for wasting taxpayer time and money trying to wine and dine this idiot, regardless of their tactical reasons and whether he killed JBR or not. If it's been proven that he's raped and/or killed any child (which it has), he belongs at the end of a rope today. End of story.

Ian McGibboney said...

Is it socialist to say that life's unfair? That seems to be the motto of the Republican Party.