Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Pick-up lines throughout history

In the Beginning
Adam to Eve: "You think THAT'S a serpent..."
Noah: "I've got an ark that'll make you flood!"

Ancient Egypt
"Let me guess...your name is Sandy?"
"The Great Pyramid, the Sahara, the Nile, me...get the picture?"
"You must be the eighth wonder of the world!"

Roman Empire
"If I could change the alphabet, I would put 'V' and 'I' together."
"Your palace looks like it could use a sturdy column."
"You could set any chariot on fire!"

Ye Dark Ages
"The plague is devouring me alive! Won't you?"
"Ignorance is bliss and so art thee."
"Got a light?"

Puritan Lust
"My heart burns like a witch for you."
"I've got the 'thanks' ready, if you'll do the 'giving.'"
"Lucky church pew..."

The Civil War
"United we stand, divided we fall...catch my drift?"
"Oh, fiddle-de-de, Scarlett...I insist..."
(Southern belles only) "Won't you be my love slave?"

20th Century Foxes
Prohibition--"Can I buy you a...uh...ginger ale?"

The Great Depression--"Unlike the stock market, I never crash at my peak."

World War II--"Baby, you're The Bomb!"

Cold War--"My heart beats red like a Communist for you."

1950s--"You Betty my Archie!"

Vietnam--"You just got drafted for my army, baby."

Civil Rights/Age of Aquarius--"Free love at last! Thank God almighty, free love at last!" (Comeback: "Keep having a dream, dude.")

Disco Era--"There's nothing leisurely about this suit..."

1980s--"Well, Run my DMC!"

1990s--"You CAN touch this!"

It Takes 2000
2000--"I'll make you dot com!"
"My name is Chad--and yes, I'm hung."
"Don't be blue! I'll put you in a red state of desire."

2001--"Your pink slip is showing...and I like it!"
"Make like a jet and penetrate my towers."
"United we stand. Hey?"

2002--"Sharks aren't the only warm-blooded creatures looking for a bite in these waters, if you catch my drift..."
"I'm a love sniper and I've got YOU in my crosshairs!"
"Bush is in these days. Yow!"

2003--"Nice Iraq!"
"Care to accomplish my mission?"
"Today's color-alert level is passion purple!"

2004--"You could be my personal halftime show."
"Well, Passion my Christ!"
"My boat is very swift, and that's the truth."

2005--"Blow me away, Katrina."
"Dubya may hate black people, but you'll never go back!"
"I-I-I-I-I...I'm hooked on a FEMA!"

2006--"Are you legal? Let me cross your border!"
"Hi! My name is not K-Fed."
"I'm Dick. Can I shoot you in the face?"

16 comments:

Speechie said...

Oh Ian, hahahahaha...you've won my heart. Those were the best pickup lines I have ever heard. It was absolutely perfect!!! I'm still laughing so hard that I don't even have anything to add...I'm near peeing my pants!

tony said...

I'd comment, but that would just encourage you.

Ian McGibboney said...

Aw, man, a GUY hates my pick-up lines? Damn...guess my effort to recruit new gays has been for naught.

Violet said...

*Groan* - I think your pickup lines turned my stomach! Maybe you could use them at the emergency room on undergrads with alcohol poisoning. Nothing saves a bad pickup line like helping a woman save money on the stomach pump.

Ian McGibboney said...

Well, yeah. Pick-up lines are bad by definition. I hope nobody thinks that I'm advocating their use!

Nick said...

Speechie:

I must say, you are quite obsessed with Icon. In fact, if I were him, I'd be worried. It's like you cater to everything he writes. The pickup lines were funny, but come on. I have a feeling that if Icon wrote a post about how to bake a potatoe ("e" for Dan Quayle) you would comment that it was one of the best and funniest posts ever, even if all it said was stick a potato in the oven for 2 hrs.

Anyway, just an observation. Nice lines, Icon.

Hillary For President said...

What you say is rite on. Like how NEOCONS do that what they do? One think for shure with a lady hillary clinton for president you're pick lines will need be revise. Talk about "now balance my buget" and "world piece" etc.

lol.

Hillary-for-President.blogspot.com

Speechie said...

Nick,

The only reason you criticize people is because you have to make up for your own shortcomings. If you don't like that I compliment Ian, then don't bother reading the comments I leave him. It's that simple. Ian and I happen to share the same views and the same sense of humor on A LOT of things. There's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong with the fact that I tell him so...he doesn't seem to mind. If he did, it would be MY comments that get deleted.

Ian,

I think your pickup are great. And I think some people just don't have a good sense of humor. And of course, then there's the people who hate to see you getting kudos. They don't help either. Keep on doing what you do best and I will keep on telling you what I think, good or bad.

Ian McGibboney said...

Nick,

If I did write about cooking a potato, it WOULD be that funny. Or nauseating. Either way, you'd have a reaction.

Speechie only seems obsessed because she leaves the most comments. That says more about everyone else than it does about her. I don't delete non-spam comments, so whatever you see is whatever effort people bother to put forth. It's out of my control.

I write. You decide.

Nick said...

I don't even know why I'm responding, and I'll probably be sorry for asking this. But Sheechie, since you comment as if you know me or something, please tell, what shortcomings do I have that lead me to criticize?

By the way, I know what my shortcomings are, and I have even posted about Icon being a much better and gifted writer than myself, but that has nothing to do with my previous comment.

Speechie said...

Nick,

I don't want to turn this into a blog war on Ian's blog. If you would like an in-depth analysis of this situation please ask for one on my blog. Although, in the mean time I will ask two things that will lead up to that analysis: 1) Why do you call Ian "Icon"? 2) Why can't you spell my pseudonym correctly?

Nick said...

An indepth analysis, I knew I shouldn't have asked. I mean, look at the two questions you asked that are supposed to lead up (I guess that means being points for) it. Here are the answers.

1. Icon has been Ian's nickname for a long time, even before I knew him. If I remember right, one of the coaches on our college track team gave him the nickname to mean he was an Icon of many things, since he was track team manager, writer for the Vermilion, video taped high school or college football games (I think) and other things I'm not aware of. If Ian doesn't like the nickname, then he hasn't informed me. He's even told me that he used Screaming Icon as his name on Democrat Underground, so I think he actually likes it. Therefore, what would have probably been one of your points of me trying to "bring down" Ian by calling him Icon has just been erased.

2. I tend to type fast and not check my spelling, especially in a comments section. If you thought I intentionally mispelled your name, well, I don't know what to tell you.

But anyway, I would love to see you try to analyze me trying to insult Ian, especially since you had no idea why I call him Icon. You just assumed I was doing it to try and insult him, when actually the name was given to him by someone out of repect for his involvement in many things.

Ian McGibboney said...

Nick, I realize that you're not cutting me down. And I do value my nickname.

But here's the thing: nicknames have context. It makes sense to call me Icon when we're out on the track, or when hanging out with old buddies. But when we're online, where I've banked my reputation on my real name, calling me "Icon" necessarily raises question such as Speechie's. After all, I've never used that moniker for purposes of this blog (and it's been years since I posted at DU). People reading this thread will understand it now, I suppose, and I have no problem with that. But I don't think Speechie was out of line in asking you why you called me Icon. I'm sure lots of people wondered about that.

Nick said...

Well, if you'd prefer that I don't use your nickname, then I won't.

Nicknames are just something that have always stuck with me. One of my friends from football as far back as jr. high started calling me Boot back then. He could go a yr. w/ out running into me, yet, when he sees me out w/ some buddies who have no idea about the nickname, he still calls me that.

Nick Meaux is always Nee Meaux. Chris Meaux is C Meaux, regardless of where they are.

But again, if you'd prefer Ian on the blogs, then that's why I call you. Speechie just assumed she could do some whole psyco analysis thing on me and she's never met me.

Anonymous said...

hay waht modern idout thought them up

smyleighm said...

LOVE this so much! Linked to you both on my blog (http://opticalnoise.xanga.com) and on facebook... made my day. Hahaha. Thanks for posting this :-)