Thursday, May 18, 2006

Still more rules

Rule #11: Goodbye, Norma Jean

Everybody has to stop looking like Marilyn Monroe. Granted, Marilyn Monroe was beautiful and edgy--but it's been 44 years since 1962. There's no reason that every celebrity or model needs to look like her now. Marilyn did not gain iconic status because she aped some other beautiful actress; she did so because she embraced her natural look. Celebrities would do wise to do the same. Actually, that's good advice for everyone.

But if looking the way you actually do is too much for you celebs, then at least Marilyn's a better look than Nicole Richie. There's no nutrition on that fashion plate.

Rule #12: The principal of the thing

Send our education reformers back to school. If our schools are failing, it isn't because some boy has hair an inch below his ear; it's because school boards and educators are spending all their time bickering about hair length instead of teaching. When I was in high school, long hair on boys was a major class distraction...because we spent half of every class period arguing about how stupid the rule was. Oops! See that? I ended a sentence with a preposition, and I have short hair! Perhaps something else is at play here.

Ditto with school uniforms: the problems are real, but the solutions aren't. You want to end the issue of clothing-related teasing and violence? Stop dwelling on the symptom and attack the sources: consumer culture and poverty. Kids shouldn't aspire to be billboards, and adults would do well to stop force-feeding them the message that stuff equals success. I won't even go into the incredibly lame argument that uniforms are directly responsible for better grades. I made straight A's in first grade, but I doubt my (non-uniform) shorts had anything to do with it...even if I did wet them. Anyway, I don't like school uniforms because I don't like most of the people who like them.

I understand that some specific schools have benefited from the policy. But in most cases, it just seems like a phony solution. Wherever the answer lies, it isn't in the odd mix of communism and fascism that school uniforms represent. Or in letting the smart kids take tax money away from the worst schools.

Rule #13: Idol journalism

Cover stories in a local periodical should have a legit local angle. I already know that American Idol has fans where I live; it's the number-one show in America! Where's the news in that? No one on the show has ties to south Louisiana, and it's doubtful that the article offers any exclusive access to startling new information. If I wanted to see secondhand journalism with minimal original commentary, I'd read a blog.

Rules 7-10
Rules 4-6
Rules 1-3

1 comment:

Speechie said...

I like Marilyn Monroe. I agree with the fact about emulating others being total bull. But hell, it did wonders for Christina. I know her new hubby had a lot to do with it, but still.

School uniforms. Maybe it is stupid to introduce them into a high school because then everyone already knows who the "nerdy" kids are. But it would show promise if ALL schools did it, starting with elementaries and pre-schools. Then no one would EVER know. People talk about how you can still buy expensive looking clothes or shoes...where I'm from you have to buy standard issue EVERYTHING...(except bras and underwear)...and that means everything from shirts and haricuts to socks, shoes, and belts. Sounds lethal to the creative mind...sounds like evil in a free society...
Uniforms may not stop kids from teasing each other at all. But think for a second about what it does stop. You focus only on the mean and rich kids. The poor kids suffer themselves...and by that I mean they spend a lot of time wishing they were someone else...wishing they had someone else's clothes...wishing they had someone else's shoes and haircut. If they look just like the rich kids they don't have to feel so insecure. The solution may not take out the source of the problem, but it certainly quells some of the fears that go with it. Nice save, still like some of the people who disagree with you. :)

Oy...American Idol. Idol it is.