Sunday, May 21, 2006

Caption Central

"Jesus Spanks" edition

--"Like all good Americans, Jesus spoke English. Wait, what?"
--Jesus' ventriloquist act was ruined when he accidentally picked up the oil puppet
--Obvious: "Told ya Jesus backs me!"
--The best argument yet against both evolution and intelligent design
--"Scalpel!"
--And thus Jesus spake: "What a major-league asshole!"
--Movie moment: "I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl"
--After 40 days and 40 nights of fasting, Jesus decided not to back Bush
--"Get thee behind me, Jesus"
--This round of "One of these things is different" was dubbed too easy for Sesame Street
--Backed by his hero, Bush outlines his plan to keep foreigners with long hair away from our borders
--Bush: black and white; Jesus: shades of gray
--"This is Geraldo Rivera for Fox News, reporting live from Afghanistan."
--With his left hand, Jesus signals his real feelings for Bush
--"Oh say, can you Pharisee..."
--"I asked Jesus how much he loved me. He said, 'This much,' and then spread out his arms and died. He died for me! George W. Bush! Not you."
--"Excuse me, prophet, can you please hand me a tool? Oh, here's one; never mind."

3 comments:

Speechie said...

--"The J man and I have come to an agreement. We will share Mary afterall."

--"Jesus admitted to me in a vision that the man to my left is, in fact, his love child, with Mary."

--"We're here today to discuss the holier than thou attitude in the U.S. with the two foremost authorities on the subject..."

--"In this edition of Jerry Springer: 'Dubya: Bastard Son of Jesus or Wackjob Psycho...Paternity test to come.' Stay tuned."

T-Mac said...

Hhaaa...nice work. :-)

thehim said...

If you look either of the two hippie freakshows behind me, you can't ask me a question.