Tuesday, February 28, 2006

So what was Diebold, chopped liver?

So George W. Bush supposedly said that Osama bin Laden helped him win the 2004 election:

The al Qaeda leader had issued a taped diatribe against Bush the Friday before Americans went to the polls. [...] "I thought it was going to help," Bush said.

"I thought it would help remind people that if bin Laden doesn't want Bush to be the president, something must be right with Bush."

Fair enough. Though if I recall correctly, al-Qaida actually endorsed Bush for president:

At least one well-known group does not endorse Kerry. They worry about his ability to conduct the war on terror: “Kerry will kill our nation while it sleeps…Because of this we desire [Bush] to be elected…who deals with matters by force rather than with wisdom.” Considering al-Qaida’s current clout in the world, I’d take those words to heart.

Sure, one could interpret al-Qaida's words as reverse psychology; but what part of that statement is untrue? Bush does deal with matters by force, and Kerry had a smart (if drastically under-reported) anti-terrorism plan. So let's assume that those words were sincere. What, then, gives Bush license to assume that bin Laden supported Kerry?

Obviously, it's because bin Laden is the bad guy and Bush is the good guy. And thus, anything bin Laden says has absolutely no merit. So if he says that Bush has flaws and Kerry is the man, then the opposite is clearly true. Case closed. Couldn't be simpler!

This dismissive thinking runs deep; if bin Laden told Bush not to jump off a cliff, Bush would probably strut around the edge of the Grand Canyon chirping, "So you think I'm a wimp, do ya? Well, watch THIIIIIISSSSSSSSsssssss....."

Except that al-Qaida supported Bush. So not only is that machismo stupid, it doesn't even make sense. However, Bush is right that bin Laden helped him win the 2004 election. Because like their leader, much of the public apparently believes that only the good guy ever makes a valid point.


Jester said...

Be glad that you don't understand how Al Queida thinks; it means that you're not a terrorist : )

Ian McGibboney said...

I don't understand how any of them think.

Phillip said...

ian, stop being a blame-america-first bush-bashing terrorist.

when was the last time the terror alert level was raised? i wanna say november 1, 2004.

to his credit, bush did foil the plot to destroy the brooklyn bridge by one man and his blowtorch.

The leftist southpaw said...

Ian, you've got me on a haiku kick!

Bin-laden liked Bush
Bush wins re-election. Damn.
Osama still lives...

Ian McGibboney said...

Haiku kicks addict
You have to be careful when
They jumpstart your muse

Osama drama
Ruled the news before Iraq
Dead? No, he's alive!

The leftist southpaw
Has a perfect name for this
Pointless poetry