Thursday, March 16, 2006

Jessica Simpson has principles

"I like him, but I don't LIKE like him, you know?"

LOS ANGELES - Jessica Simpson loves President Bush. She’s just not a big fan of Republican fundraisers.

The Hollywood starlet and tabloid cover girl was on Capitol Hill Thursday to lobby Congress for Operation Smile, an organization that provides reconstructive surgery to children with facial deformities. But all anyone wanted to know was why she turned down an invitation to attend a Republican fundraiser with Washington’s top star — Bush.

You hear that? Bush is a star! And all the figurehead of Neocon America wants is to visit with the reigning princess of Bimbostan. A true meeting of the mindless, I'm sure.

Curiously, this story changed between the first time I saw it and when I went back to blog on it. The main difference in the updated version is the Simpson family's huffing declarations of love for the Bushes. Beforehand, it spoke mainly of Jessica's desire not to politicize her group at a GOP fundraiser, with none of the apologetic "We-love-you-George" overtones.

“We went back and forth and we could never get the details worked out,” said her father and manager, Joe Simpson. “When it became obvious that it was not just a state dinner, it was more of a fundraising event, that is the wrong purpose of why we are here.”

Still, he said of the president, “We are huge fans of him and of his family, his girls. Jessica loves the heck out of him.”

When even people who love the heck out of you are embarrassed to be seen with you on a political stage, you're clearly doing something wrong!

NRCC spokesman Carl Forti said he was surprised at Simpson’s position.

What's even funnier to me is that they're so upset about it, as if Jessica Simpson is bowing out of the Coalition of the Willing. She's a pop star, brainiacs!

“It’s never been a problem for Bono,” he said, referring to the U2 rock star who has met regularly with political leaders of all stripes to promote various causes, including Third World debt relief. “I find it hard to believe she would pass up an opportunity to lobby the president on behalf of Operation Smile.”

Well, Bono was a candidate for president of the World Bank, and his devotion to social causes began even before Jessica was an urge in Joe's pants. The U2 frontman's also networked extensively with leaders all over the world. Comparing Bono to Jessica is like comparing apples to, well, melons.

Not that Operation Smile isn't important; far from it. But this article proves that Jessica can indeed get her message across without overtly tying the cause to Bush. I think it speaks volumes that the National Republican Congressional Committee was concerned more with getting her together with Bush than with the actual substance of her message. Again, note the wording of the above quote:

“I find it hard to believe she would pass up an opportunity to lobby the president on behalf of Operation Smile.”

What matters is that people see Simpson and Bush together against a background with "Operation Smile" splashed all across it, more so than what actually results for Operation Smile. Of course, I can see why these folks would value the photo-op over the message. A Jessica/Dubya picture would be the photo-op of a lifetime, one that would tell historians everything they ever need to know about this day and age. It would be the famous Nixon/Elvis and Reagan/Michael photos combined into one national punchline!

Come on, Jessica! I've got captions in my head just itching for a pic like that...


Cherry! said...

She could have just said 'I'm washing my hair' or 'I'm getting my lips done again' and no one would have questioned it.

Jamie said...

"Apples to melons," I love it!

Flamingo Jones said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Ian.

That has nothing to do with Jessica Simpson or President Bush, but since when has that stopped me?

Nick said...

I give Jess the benefit of the doubt, because, quite frankly, she's a bit hot.