Saturday, January 07, 2006

Bite All You Can Bite

No, this isn't another one of my graphics; this a real energy bar I recently came across! It is manufactured by Sweet Productions, a confectionary based in Amityville, NY (yes, that Amityville). Its packaging offers instant soldier cred, though its camouflage wrapper sometimes causes it to disappear in their fatigues (rim shot). This is the kind of bar that, if the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket had found it instead of the doughnut, he would have been happy rather than fierce. So get your GI gear on these and Support the Troops!

Ironically enough, this bar appears to have no ties whatsoever to the military. That would make "HOOAH!" the edible equivalent of those Titanic knockoff videos that were big a few years ago. You know the ones: Titanic: the True Story; Titanic: Jewel of the Deep; Titanic: the Cheaper and Older Film; and Titanic: the Even Truer Story. This bar is like that. It's a return to the themed food of old, such as the "Chicken Dinner" chocolate bar of the 1920s and Ritz crackers, which (ironically enough) aren't that ritzy.

In any case, this bar is among the best I've ever eaten. They certainly go down better than those damn ribbons. HOO-AH! (Trademark of Sweet Productions).


Mary said...

I REALLY like your blog...i just found it...(i can't believe you get reviews on your blog, that's cool..)

Neil Shakespeare said...

Shameless bastards, aren't they? The very epitome of blatant commercialism. "Let's support our troops by making tons of fucking money off them!"

BTW: Ritz crackers ain't shit anymore. Don't know what they did to 'em but they're crap these days. I miss the old buttery Ritz. They were great. Now they're shitty (I think they put some powdered shit in there) and even more expensive.

Nick said...

Why the hell would someone want to eat a nutrition bar like PowerBar or whatever they make these days? You can get the same thing out of a Nutria (I like spelling it that way) Grain bar or a fig newton bar, only less expensive.

I like to take a Rizt cracker and spread peanut butter and jelly or chocolate syrup.


My opinions are once again made known to Lafayette's sheeple

thehim said...

Yeah, exactly, the time period when Ritz Crackers were named must have been ungodly boring.

Anonymous said...

They have tons of these bars at all of the Dining Facilities here in Baghdad. I think I prefer the chocolate bars, which bear a resemblence to plastic dog pooh. But overall not a bad product.