Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Not "military," just "drill"


HELP WANTED IN IRAQ!

FUEL AND ELECTRICAL SYSTEM
MACHINIST
MECHANIC WHEEL VEHICLE
HVAC MECHANIC
MECHANIC ENGINEER EQUIPMENT
GENERATOR MECHANIC
SAMS OPERATOR
COMM/EL

Salary: $80,000 (tax free) income potential with competitive benefits package.

I expect big returns from this ad, being that we have Iraq under control and all...

Working Conditions: Extreme danger, stress, physical hardships and possible field living conditions associated with this position within a desert camp complex. Ability to function during an extended assignment at a foreign, in-country facility exposed to seasonal temperature extremes. Ability to cope with shared cafeteria, bath and sleeping quarters. Additionally, a small possibility exists of being killed and lynched on worldwide television or having to rationalize your role in Iraq for the rest of your life to wounded veterans. But hey, it's $80,000, tax-free! Come on, weigh it!

U.S. passport will be required.

**ONLY THOSE WILLING TO WORK, LIVE UNDER THESE CONDITIONS, AND JOB RELATED EXPERIENCE SHOULD APPLY.** (Yeah, duly noted!)

Why can't we pay this kind of money to our soldiers who are doing similar, if not far riskier work? Just asking...

6 comments:

PusBoy said...

Why can't we pay this kind of money to our soldiers who are doing similar, if not far riskier work?

Ha ha ha! Oh, Ian. Don't you know soldiers are poor and don't know how to handle all that money and therefore would piss it all away and never be able to make campaign contributions to the GOP?

Defense contractors on the other hand will pay $80,000 to the person who responds to this ad and charge the DoD around $200,000. Some of that $120,000 profit will eventually make its way back into the GOP purse.

Everybody wins!

Paying soldiers more . . . . Ha!

Next you'll be advocating raising the minimum wage to subsistence levels or paying teachers more! Commie!

Michael said...

I think you should consider applying, Ian. You look sexy in that hard hat. :-)

Neil Shakespeare said...

Hey, that "possible appearance on worldwide TV" should be a selling point. Everybody wants to be on TV!

thehim said...

That's just not how the free market works. The government can only afford to pay soldiers just enough to get by, but companies that get their money from the government and build the weapons they use can afford to pay a lot more money for EVEN BETTER soldiers, who don't even have to follow all those stupid rules. We now have a far superior army over there fighting alongside the real one.

Some of them have even been enterprising enough to film videos of themselves shooting people for some extra cash. I'm sure the Iraqis are thrilled to one day have a free market system that's so efficient.

Ian McGibboney said...

Thehim, that was the plot of RoboCop 3!

thehim said...

There was a Robo-Cop 3? And you watched it? :)