Saturday, November 12, 2005

He has a dream, too!

Meet John Hinson. He has written the conservative political column at The Vermilion since January 2004, after our friend Nick graduated and moved on to greener pastures (to help drill oil out of them).

Hinson's columns are dry affairs that are balanced almost to a fault; indeed, a typical pattern for his work is to weigh both sides of an issue, until the final paragraph when he chooses the right-wing side without explanation. He is also prone to making obscure allusions that can make for a frustrating read without Wikipedia nearby (such as when he praised Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) without mentioning the sad reasons why). A relentless paleocon, Hinson constantly argues that the United States would be much better off if we honkies just erected an iron fence and reclaimed "our" country. So you can just about imagine how he feels about the Dubya Doctrine:

It is one thing to be wrong, but it is another thing to be wrong and be the President. The War in Iraq is wrong for America, wrong for Iraq, and is not going to get any better as long as we are there. But hey America, you don't mind paying for the rest of the world's problems, right? (10/20/04)

Hinson first made waves at UL for his compelling letters, which offered a telling glimpse of what was to come. Since becoming columnist, however, his output has been noticeably subdued for mass consumption. That's saying a lot, considering some of the statements he has made in print:

The first thing you would have to accept for real change was that the goal of Brown vs. Board of Education was about the rights of blacks to attend local schools, not so much to "integrate" schools. (4/20/05)

Your place as a professor is to educate in the classroom, not to inject your positions onto the school paper. I see no gain you can win by addressing me... (To a professor who dared to criticize him, 4/13/05)

While some see the [anti-gay-marriage] amendments as going in the wrong direction (all other civil rights movements have been liberating a minority), I personally see the amendments as a necessary evil [sic] to maintain one of America's core institutions. I just do not think condoning homosexual liaisons can somehow benefit the greater good. (9/29/04)

My favorite argument to women who support [abortion] is, "Do you have a penis? (No.) Then how can you argue that this 'bundle of cells' is you?" (2/4/04)

I cannot imagine taking, for example, the cynical, satirical, and often tactless approach of Ian McGibboney.... Let me just say from the numerous people I have had come up to me with "death warrants" for him that he is not winning hearts... (2/2/05)

My IQ does not go up automatically by simply being around minorities. (7/21/04)

Hinson's latest column makes that last statement painfully evident. "Minority" is his favorite word in the English language, it being present in nearly every column he writes. He uses it in a variety of ways, including derisively (when talking about race) or sympathetically (when feeling bad for those poor ostracized white Christians). This week, Hinson culminates all of his anti-immigrant and anti-color-minority sentiment into one vituperative column that speaks for itself. For brevity's sake, I'll excerpt only the topic sentences of each paragraph. If you can stomach that, then you deserve to go here.

Immigration has been the lifeblood of growth for our nation....What will happen if the United States continues on its current path of unregulated borders and essentially open immigration?

America’s demographics are changing. Growing darker and more diverse, America is changing rapidly. From an almost 90 percent white population in 1950, to 69 percent in 2000, the white population is shrinking year by year....

Indeed, citizens of four states now will find that they are no longer the majority in their states but another member of a now majority-minority....

American culture is changing. Hip-hop and rap, even gangster rap, can be heard booming from the speakers of white Americans. Every year, we celebrate Black History Month, study Chicano history and dine at Chinese, Korean and Japanese restaurants. English is no longer the only language needed to succeed in America....

Even the most concerted of efforts to meld these newcomers into the American psyche are failing because there are simply too many people coming here and few with any loyalty to their new country....

Our future looks bleak and is looking more like Mexico or Africa, not 20th-century America. However, is this all inevitable?

Should we be concerned? Or is America lost already?

If America is lost to him, then maybe we shouldn't find it.


Flamingo Jones said...

Like I told you earlier, the whole column literally made me feel ill. The sentences you pulled out were the main culprits though. This edition of the paper should come with a coupon for a complimentary bottle of Pepto Bismol, I think.

Ian McGibboney said...

All newspapers in Louisiana should. Or, at the very least, be printed on hemp so we can get high afterwards to ease the pain.

Nick said...

I've never cared much for Hinson. I quickly found displeasure with him when he wrote a letter to the paper and used my name and a quote from one of my past columns to try and promote the NAAWP. I feel that the NAACP is a piece of shit organization today and having an NAAWP doesn't help matters at all.

Alisha said...

UGH!! I always thought this guy was a reject, but my God, I didn't realize what a complete ass he is! I hope someone kicks his ass for this one!!!

rhonda said...

"Hip-hop and rap, even gangster rap, can be heard booming from the speakers of white Americans."
...because all fine, upstanding white americans now come fully-loaded with surround sound to boot. to hell with this guy.