Sunday, September 25, 2005

This cheddar's aged, not sharp

There's a prevailing piece of wisdom that the President of the United States is one of the most taxing jobs in terms of premature aging. This fact is backed up by at least 42 examples, most visibly among Bill Clinton and our current "president," George W. Bush. But this malady strikes everyone sooner or later, regardless of presidential material-worthiness.

Inspired by Flamingo Jones' recent missive on her feet, I dug up some choice photographs of my own to illustrate just how life can take its toll on a face. Being 25 years old with two degrees, I spent my college years in a unique political time frame. In 1998, the prevailing presidential crisis involved love, not war. The economy was booming, and 15 people I cared about were still alive and kicking. Here I am at 18, in my driver's license photo. Look how full of life I am, ready to take the world by the horns and conquer it!

Between 1998 and 2005, however, lots of bad stuff went down. The Clinton impeachment. Kosovo. Columbine. A failed relationship. My massive concussion. The dot-com bust. The 2000 election. Dubya. The recession. Back surgery. 9/11. Iraq. More Dubya. Unemployment. Hurricanes aplenty.

By the time I took this university ID picture in February 2004, I was pretty beat down. The sad thing is, I had actually primped for this picture and thought I'd take a studious pose for once. I knew how bad I looked (and felt) when the photographer showed me the pic on the monitor (next to the picture which I had recently lost) and asked, "Are you sure you want to change this?" Why don't I ever listen? All I know is this: if I'm ever arrested for any reason, the police need only to tack a placard underneath this atrocity.

As it seems to have been for most people, 2005 has been a super-shitty year for me. I graduated from college yet again, which has since left me jobless and brutally underprepared for the local job market. In the span of less than a month, two hurricanes have nearly wiped out my state. And as if the job search wasn't already horrid enough with a weak market and 40,000 new residents from New Orleans, I no longer have a functioning vehicle. Yep, all of these and several other factors have aged me even further.

So if you're feeling older these days, take heart: at least you'll die sooner. Just kidding! Actually, just know that times are tough and that it's only a matter of time before even the most beautiful Republican celebrities look like holy hell as their paradise world collapses around them. Also, take lots of pictures and keep only the good ones. Hey, we're already doing that with history!

7 comments:

Michael said...

You forgot the one you've been using as your profile photo, Ian. You look pretty good in that one. At least in my opinion.

Ian McGibboney said...

Thanks, Michael. The prune-face photo was also pretty good, but showing how I actually look nowadays (such as in my profile pic) kinda betrays how I feel. Raking leaves and having time to get in shape makes one fit in depressing times. It's an odd world.

Michael said...

Always has been. The trick is figuring out how to keep the oddness to a low boil. Or else embrace your status as an anomaly and tell everybody else they can like it or lump it. I chose the latter route--it's easier on the heart.

Flamingo Jones said...

Ohhhh! That's a PRUNE! OK. That makes much, much more sense now.

I adore that t-shirt too.

PusBoy said...

The 2004 photo is a mug shot, to be sure. It almost looks like you have aneck tattoo poking out from under your collar. Instant prison cred, baby!

Assuming my nonprofit group gets a new grant, and assuming Phizz/Phillip doesn't remember I offered him a job already, I'll hire you. How do you feel about Louisville, KY?

Ian McGibboney said...

Thanks, but I'm trying to move out of the south. But if you have a California job, that'll be great!

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