Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Somebody slap this person!

Tonight, while looking through a file cabinet full of high-school stuff, I found this gem. As I recall, I originally found it in a desk (probably during speech class my junior year). While I always enjoy finding a bizarre point of view stuck in some bizarre place (toilets and bus stops especially), this one made my day because of its unsettling resemblance to our report-card font at the time. Being that it was unattributed, it may very well have reflected the view of our local school board.

Bold words bolded by me. For extra fun, read this with a Phil Hartman voice...

Physical Punishment is Good for You!

I think that physical punishment should be reinstated in schools for the good and well being of all. Especially for the teachers. I think that this method would really enhance our educational system.

One reason is that it would give the teachers a constructive way to chanel their stress. This in turn would allow the teacher to devote more time to the students because he or she is not so angry that it impairs their teaching ability. Giving them a more constructive class with less trouble.

Another point that I would like to make is that physical punishment would allow the students more study time. You see, if a student is in detention they are not doing anything and after the so-called punishment in question they are in to much pain to do anything except study.

The last point I would like to make is that physical punishment is a tradition. And traditions should not be broken. It has been used in the educational system for generations. It is an institution in itself. They used it on me as well as my ancestors.

Therefore we should promptly reinstate physical punishment in schools because, it relieves stress, it will allow the students more time to study, and it is a tradition. In turn I believe that it will enhance the total learning environment. I should know they used it on me and how I turned out.

With the influx of New Orleans students now pouring into Lafayette schools, I might possibly change my mind about this. But for now, I'll stick to my typical convictions and let the final sentence of that missive speak for itself.


Phillip said...

that had to be written by a student. i can't imagine an adult coming up with something so illogical (and grammatically faulty).

too bad we got rid of that slavery tradition.

Flamingo Jones said...

"it would give the teachers a constructive way to chanel their stress..."

Well...there are days when that ALMOST makes sense.

PusBoy said...

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such educational films as 'Beating Students for Fun and Profit' and 'Don't Fear the Paddle.'"