Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Where no news is good news (and all news is bad news)

We start off today's news with four items I forgot to touch on in the last few weeks. Call them, "Not Quite Not Right News":

--A San Antonio man was arrested July 25 after reporting the theft of his marijuana. In addition to his stash, the man also reported missing his plasma TV, his "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" DVD and his common sense.

--Friends of a 31-year-old single man in Utah erected billboards advertising his singlehood. After fielding numerous calls, his friends are expected to narrow the field down to a respectable seven wives.

--A Kansas high-school student was charged with battery after he vomited on his Spanish teacher. Though accused of planning the incident, the student claimed he was just trying to say, "Olehhhhhhh!"

--Atkins Nutritionals, the company behind the famous low-carb diet, filed for bankruptcy July 31. And why not? Money is very high in carbohydrates and fattens wallets.

Now for some newer news...

--The Labor Department announced Aug. 5 that 207,000 new jobs had been created in July, the strongest growth in five months. What they didn't announce was that those jobs suck.

--An Oregon high-school coach was placed on probation for licking the bloody wounds of his athletes, which he said served to clean the cuts. Yo, coach, everyone knows that licking cuts is wrong! You're supposed to piss on them.

--In license-plate news, cheerleaders in Ann Arbor, Michigan were able to track down a hit-and-run offender by chanting his license-plate number as a cheer. "Give me a Y! Give me a G! Give me a T! Give me a 6! Give me a 2! Give me another 6!" How about I give you a pen?

--On Aug. 7, WWII veterans and Japanese survivors met on the island of Tinian to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the Hiroshima/Nagasaki bombings. Many opposed the peaceful summit, saying that there is no need for a balanced view of history. These critics were later offered jobs by Fox News.

--Finally, a man in Seoul, South Korea died of heart failure after playing 50 straight hours of computer games. Apparently he had only one life left.


Ian McGibboney said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hey, I got this website through a link to another website, that was linked on dailykos. Didn't know you existed.

Words of encourgement and a request. First the encouragement. I found your diary interesting and relevant. Do you post on kos? You should, there's a push there today to get more support for local progressive blogs. Go do some marketing!

Second: The biggest progressive thing going right now is Cindy Sheehan in Crawford. No mention of this on your blog. She needs support and we ain't that far away. Let your readers know about it. How about a diary?

Thanks, and I'll be checking in with you now and then.

Ian McGibboney said...

Thanks for that, nameless one. Which site separated me from Kos? That's interesting. I'd like to put my two cents in somehow, but I'm not sure how to do it. Any pointers?

As for the Cindy Sheehan issue, first let me say that my MO is not always that of other blogs. My lack of inclusion of an issue usually means that what I have to say has been well-said elsewhere. I try not to be too redundant.

That said, however, it blows my mind just how much of a life this story has taken. Not that I'm particularly surprised at the depths of neocon hatred of anti-Bush protests, but still...I figure that if the Crawford ranch can put up with the God Hates Fags people (as I mentioned last year), then they can put up with a peaceful protest by campers off-property.

Thank you for the input and watch for more to come.

Abdul said...

It does not give the form to the safeguard of this person! She is the
good person, that one that had made the errors. I ask that the
families of deficient people execute the life that hardly, of that one
he happens equal the end to evaluate outside if. She was in the past
in a country, in where the wild rammer to exempt the fall in the ways
wind -- he communicates. It is, of that one his transforms the interior
of the newspaper. He would request that one remembered of this. People
would have that to being good, Abdul

Phillip said...

well said?

Flamingo Jones said...

If I ever have a band, "Wild Rammer to Exempt the Fall" is going to be the title of the first CD. Swear to god.

Abdul said...

The task of not having this is modified for particular requirements,
around to the work hardly that one. The battery of the messages is the
lost heart to consider, would not have the reputation of this world
we, where we lives? The beauty of the world in chain is that you can
break and nobody feels it! He includes, that one
that would wish to say? The will of the argument in all you he let
only the end to learn it totality which we are the beauty of the
connection, Abdul

Nick said...

So, not only is it the gov't's job to create a job for us, but they have to create GOOD jobs?

Ian McGibboney said...

As long as they're using those numbers for political gain, Nick, then yes.