Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A latent cry for help

Well, yesterday heralded the annual LEDA Job Fair, the six hours a year during which Lafayette has job openings. Dozens of area businesses in a variety of fields set up shop, from radio conglomerates to nursing to the other thing in between. Dress for success, they said, and bring your resumes! This Job Fair was an unparalleled opportunity to network with the movers and shakers in the heart of Acadiana!

Needless to say, I didn't go. I overslept. Also, I don't currently own a dressy pair of shoes that would make me a qualified employee; for most classier occasions I wear black sneakers. In other words, I lack the basics, just have black Asics.

Also, I had other pressing issues. Lacking sufficient funds, I sat down the night before and counted out all my loose change, which exceeded $30 (hey, I'm a pack rat). I really needed to deposit that at the bank before I made another move. So that was part of my reason for missing the Job Fair.

Except I didn't do that, either. I needed the change to pay off library fines for books and CDs that were two days overdue. So I figured it was also crucial to clear my good library name.

I still haven't returned them. Because I had to drive over to my new newspaper beat where I was reassigned just yesterday (a 50-mile drive!). Not only did I have to navigate new roads for the first time (I mean literally--not referring to the town New Roads), but I also had to figure out directions to a friend's nearby house afterwards so I that I could write the story without driving 50 miles back. Stress City, with speed traps to boot.

Can you see where this is going? While I was driving, my contact lenses scratched my eyes so severely that I quickly had to turn back home. Explaining to my editor that I didn't have time to make the meeting because, "My eyes hurt and I had to stop at a gas station," was exciting in ways I can't even begin to explain. So now I have to do the story today. Needless to say, I got home this evening with one thought: "missing accomplished." I haven't felt this frustrated since I tried to measure Dick Cheney's ego with only a protractor and a tire-pressure gauge.

Fox News covered the entire event. Today's headline? "IAN IS LAZY, SHIFTLESS."

5 comments:

rhonda said...

i understand how you feel. next friday i get my praxis results, and unfortunately failure is always a very real possibilit for me. everyone has times like this, days like the one depicted in this post. don't beat yourself up. amd you know anytime you need someone to vent to you can email me. hope you have a better day today, ian.

Phillip said...

i think for that situation "mission accomplished" would have been completely appropriate in the context of our modern times.

Alisha said...

If that's not rock bottom I don't know what is! Things have finally turned around for me and I know your time is coming, so just don't lose hope because I have faith in you and remember I'm always here to listen if you need me.

Flamingo Jones said...

Ian, it's at times like these that the following words of wisdom truly come in handy:

"I've been called lazy, smelly, shifty, kooky, spooky, and Chinese, but one thing I ain't never been called is dumb."

You can take THAT to the bank, my friend.

Ian McGibboney said...

Ha ha ha ha!! Well, it worked for Will Ferrell!