Wednesday, August 31, 2005


A bad week to be a week

--Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans Monday, causing catastrophic damage to the flood-prone city and leaving thousands homeless. The hurricane garnered the attention of the national media, who seemed disappointed that Katrina never showed her boobs. This disappointed the national conscience, which suddenly cared about Louisiana for a few days. The storm also left the Louisiana Superdome with several holes in its roof, proving once again that nothing ever goes right for the Saints.

(Seriously, though, millions of residents are left without homes and vital services, and some remain stranded atop their homes. If you can help at all, please do so. Chances are, these are the same people who have needed our help for a long time.)

--Televangelist Pat Robertson came under fire last week for suggesting that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez should be assassinated. He first denied ever saying that, then apologized just hours later. Pat, if you continue to flip-flop like that, man, you'll never make it as a presidential candidate! Oh, wait a minute...

--A Belgian nun was reprimanded by her church after a photo surfaced of her dancing with a young boy at Catholic World Day. After all, women aren't supposed to be priests.

--In other nun news, officials in Taiwan have halted a safe-sex campaign featuring a nun holding a condom. Turns out the image itself was a form of birth control.

--A college women's lacrosse team came under fire after several of the players wore flip-flops during a visit to the White House. The young athletes responded by criticizing the informal style of rods the critics had shoved up their asses.

--A recent report from the American Enterprise Institute found that a majority of working Americans said they felt "satisfied." But they didn't say with what.

--And finally, the world's oldest woman died in the Netherlands Tuesday at the age of 115. She is now the youngest person to be dead.

4 comments:

gambitch said...

Just wrote to say I'm disappointed with myself not getting your last joke.

Ian McGibboney said...

It is kinda poorly phrased, but I can't think of a better way to say it.

The Manning Report said...

was about to post about something else and remembered the blog site that popped up during the iraq war. i forgot the name when it first began, but its called crisis pictures now.
its linked over there>>>>>>>>
why havent they shown any of the hurricane pictures
makes you wonder if they are just there to show bad light on the iraq war.

Ian McGibboney said...

Well, Manning, I'd have to say that the point of Crisis Pictures is to show the gritty reality of the War on Iraq, thus proving that the mainstream media wipms out on it, whereas the media is showing every horrible thing on the flood already.