Monday, July 18, 2005



Stuff you already know, but with me saying it!

--This week, Mark Fuhrman hit the bestseller list with "Silent Witness: the Untold Story of Terri Schiavo's Death," a book blaming husband Michael Schiavo for negligence in Terri's collapse. But if Fuhrman's track record of making people look guilty is any indicator, then Michael has nothing to worry about.

--Retired U.S. General William Westmoreland, perhaps the best-known Vietnam commander, died Monday night at the age of 91. He is expected to immediately commence spinning in his grave.

--Karl Rove. The best argument yet against outing yourself.

--Kentucky governor Ernie Fletcher announced today that he will discontinue the "smiling sun" license plate that many residents simply refused to put on their cars. The state is currently considering several redesigns, among them a banjo, a crate of moonshine or a smiling Colonel Sanders.



--In other license-plate news, legislators in New York are debating the issue of special license plates for DWI offenders. They're dented and the numbers appear crooked and double-stamped.

--Convicted Olympic bomber and anti-abortion extremist Eric Rudolph received a life sentence Monday. Just goes to show you how pro-life America really is: we're showing mercy to the man who is the best argument yet for abortion.

--The search for the missing teenager in Aruba continues, with investigators having found a piece of duct tape covered with blonde hair. The next phase of the operation? Finding her.

--This week marks the 80th anniversary of the infamous Scopes trial, which allowed the teaching of evolution in schools. Some still decry the decision today, which proves that we haven't evolved that much after all.

--And finally, sources tell me that former Saints quarterback Heath Shuler is running for Congress in South Carolina. He couldn't run in Louisiana, because we remember the last time Shuler tried to run something.

15 comments:

Mikel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mikel said...

when do you sleep Have you had time to review my work I have been reading your blogs since you were here and wondering why some major publication has not offered you the world and moved you to NYC Keep doing your thing Dont worry about finding time to read my crap but if you get a chance...........

Flamingo Jones said...

We're all wondering about that mikel. Meanwhile we're enjoying the fact that Ian is still one of us "little people" and will therefore continue talking to us.

humidhaney said...

http://humidhaney.typepad.com/the_humid_haney_rant/2005/07/it_is_time_to_h.html

ica said...

I have to go google the "smiling sun" license plate. Power to the people!

ica said...

http://www.kentuckyroads.com/images/kentuckyroads/plate.jpg.html

Phillip said...

yeah ian, geez. get a job already so you can hook us up with jobs. stop being so shellfish!

i'm so sick of people focusing on the missing girl in aruba. damn liberal media! there are plenty of good things going on in aruba too!

wobbleboard said...

You'll be writing about it soon enough, but it looks like a judge from your lovely state, Edith Brown Clement, may be Dubya's SCOTUS nominee. Tune in tonight to find out!

Ian McGibboney said...

Uncle Mike: you are, and always will be, a legend. And, for the record, I sleep during the day. I typically work nights.

Flamingo: I know I'm a little person because I pay taxes. Leona Helmsley said so.

Jessica: I meant to post the plate but I was tired. Thank you for being such a diligent fan. Expect lots of questions any day now.

Phizz: you're phizz.

Humid Haney and Wobbleboard: just hang on. The ride will soon begin!

yournamehere said...

They'll blame Louisville, the unfriendliest city in the South, for the license plate failure. That's where I'm originally from, and everyone I know hated that stupid Wal-Mart logo.

Ian McGibboney said...

You know who else has a tacky plate? Florida! The moment they switched from "Florida" to "myFlorida.com" was certainly a nadir in human taste.

wobbleboard said...

Tacky, I agree -- especially since myFlorida.com is a porn site. Or was that myWhoreida.com?

Flamingo Jones said...

www.myWhoreida.com sounds like porn that involves frozen potato products.

Ian McGibboney said...

I suggest home fries. They have more girth, if you catch my drift.

Spo said...

Hey Ian - found my way via Jessica - great site - shall be a daily read - and you may very well have the greatest second name on the planet too.