Wednesday, July 13, 2005

A freelancer's answers

Here's a fun and infectious little thing going around. Got it from Viva Las VegASS, which is a good place to get lots of infections. But hey, it's legal over there!

This is a different deal from all of those personal quizzes we all just love to get and do. Here's the deal: I will create five personalized questions about you--all you have to do is ask. I will then post your questions in the comment section, and you answer them on your own site. Or mine. Do it however you wish.

Anyway, here are yournamehere's questions and my answers:

1. When eating a delicious pancake breakfast, do you place the breakfast meats on a separate plate or leave them to be drowned in maple syrup?

Trick question! So-called "breakfast meats" freak me out. Virtually every kind of breakfast meat strikes me as low-grade pork leftovers, as if it were left over from the higher-quality wieners and beef jerky. Sausage biscuits are an inexplicable exception.

So if I were given those on my plate, which would be by accident, I would take them off my plate and not let them drown in the strawberry, blueberry or boysenberry syrup in which I drown my pancakes (maple syrup is also on my non-grata list). On the other hand, I just might pour a bowl of maple syrup solely for the purpose of dunking my unwanted breakfast meats. Makes a nice centerpiece, and as my mom always says, "it's all going to the same place anyway!"

2. What's your favorite restaurant in Louisiana? Elaborate.

No, it's not Elaborate (though that sounds like a killer nightclub). It's this local joint called "Subway," which is a purveyor of submarine sandwiches. They offer most varieties of meat, veggies and breads, and they make your sandwich right there in front of you! Instead of fattening french fries, they offer an alternative called "chips." I hear that a man once lost almost 300 pounds by eating nothing but this food all day, so I have to make sure I don't wither away to nothing because I weigh much less than that.

This was a tough question, being that there are approximately 4,501 restaurants within a mile of my house. But given my dislike for rice, seafood, Cajun food and mayonnaise, that pretty much eliminates everything else.

3. One political question: Who gives the democrats the best chance to win back the presidency in '08? Not necessarily who you prefer, but who you think is most electable.

In my opinion, whoever finally wins the the presidency is going to be the one. This is a no-brainer. Mark my words!

4. If you could write for any magazine or newspaper in the world, which would it be and why?

In an ideal world, I would have my own media empire. Just like Rupert Murdoch, but without the whole forces-of-evil thing. I'm more into satire than real reporting these days, so I'd go with something like The Onion (but not the Onion, because I like credit for what I write). To be honest, I'd rather do Weekend Update-style stuff, where I can write it and give it a presentation. That seems to be my kick these days.

But if I did commit to print, it would probably be for some independent publication in a place yet to be determined and which I have yet to ever hear of.

5. When someone pisses you off (a friend, not a right-wing blogger), do you let them know right away or do you silently seethe?

First off, I'm more than slightly disturbed that this question came to mind when you thought of me! :) But to answer it [long and reflective pause], I find that I generally have control over a situation. I know much better, for example, than to lose my cool in a work situation or when it would profoundly affect the people around me. Unfortunately, my family thinks differently, mainly because I blow up in front of them more than I should (probably because I hold things in until I get home). I also occasionally jump into defensiveness when someone touches a nerve. It's a good thing only a few things piss me off--like bad drivers, politics, religion and society in general. Because ultimately, I'm a fairly laid-back and happy person who's currently in a phase (specifically, the Bush administration).

Thank you for probing me, yournamehere. I am now officially worried at the impression I give people :) But that's precisely what makes these things so much fun, right?


oyster said...

I want some questions!

Ian McGibboney said...


1) What do the streets of the French Quarter smell like to you? Please be as specific as possible.

2) If New Orleans wasn't in Louisiana, where would it be?

3) Why do you suppose Lee Atwater looks like a cross between Michael Dukakis and Crispin Glover?

4) What inspired you to name yourself after a live thing you swallow? (I wish I'd thought of that!)

5) Floating ants: pro or con?

Zachary said...

No maple syrup? You unAmerican, leftist hippie!

Ian McGibboney said...


1) If you were allowed into politics in any outside capacity, whether as Rick Santorum's page, a lobbyist or anything else aside from an elected position, what would you be?

2) If the old saying goes that "Politics is show business for ugly people," then how do you explain Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-S.D.) ? Show your work.

3) If your name had not been Zac, what would you called your blog?

4) Sometimes you like to react to an article by writing, "You don't say." But what do you say when you DO say?

5) Finally, Brad Pitt or Heath Ledger?

Joe said...

(Arm waving wildy in the air while the other Sweathogs look annoyed or smug or both)

Oooh, oooh, oooh, pick me!

/What, you think online Horshack impersonations are easy?

Ian McGibboney said...


1) Lafayette voters opted for fiber in amazing numbers, yet typically vote against government and for business at every opportunity. In what ways does this completely blow your mind? The more graphic your answer is, the more credit you get.

2) Compare and contrast Iraq and Vietnam. Or, as an alternative question, explain why doing that would be really depressing.

3) As the Cajun saying goes, "pass a good time." But why on earth would you want to let it pass?

4) Same question I asked Zac, but who hasn't yet answered it: If the old saying goes that "Politics is show business for ugly people," then how do you explain Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-S.D.) ? Show your work.

5) Finally, if you were a teacher and you had a student like Horshack, would you ever actually call on that person?