Thursday, July 14, 2005

Can't spell "Jesus" without "E"

When I was working the register for Checkers in the summer of 2001 (back when jobs existed), I would often receive as much as I gave. Among the items handed to me by hungry customers were tips (shh), phone numbers (including one from an amorous middle-aged woman--thanks Lori!) and the occasional money for the order. Once or twice customers would try to hit me up for cigarettes (?!!), which in turn would lead to some hilarious shouting to said customer by my boss, who oddly enough was a smoker herself.

But just as often, I would be offered religious tracts. Despite a Checkers policy expressly forbidding solicitation, I would always take these tracts because I'm into that sort of thing. Most of the time, these came from well-dressed churchgoers grabbing a Big Buford on the way home from services. But the one you see above came from a guy about my age. He asked me if I liked to party (and I apparently said yes), then invited me to a "Praise Rave." He said it would be like a real rave (as if he knew), but with Christian music and good, clean holy-rollin' fun. The Praise Rave would live up to its name, having loud music in a dark locale, lit only by glow-sticks and the beatific glow of the light of Christ.

Even for a place like Lafayette, Louisiana, where local grocery stores sell shirts with sentiments like "Built LORD Tough" and church youth programs make "Saved!" look like a low-budget exercise, this is imaginative. I can only hope it did actually bring races and denominations together. I'm sure it did, probably in closer ways than its organizers intended.

I didn't go, of course, though now I consider it a missed opportunity. Hell, I could have invited Lori! I know I still have her number someplace...


PusBoy said...

I tend to take those things, too, when people hand them to me on the street. The other day, an old man handed me a pamphlet with the headline "Tired of Not Understanding the Bible?" I laughed a little and then tossed it in a nearby trash can. It was one of the few times that I didn't feel bad about being an asshole.

Phillip said...

i saw a mormon commercial on tv the other day that really made me want to get the book of mormon.

praise rave... do you have to take ecstacy to see jesus or not? if you slipped a hard-core religious person a tab i bet they'd feel pretty at one with god. and see the virgin mary in a grilled cheese.

Murph said...

"Holy-rollin'" Rollin'. At a rave. Now that's really punny. Keep it up.