Friday, July 08, 2005

0-132 since 2001, yet still I try...

As most of you know, a while back I entered a column contest put on by the National Society for Newspaper Columnists (NSNC).

It wasn't even close.

Though the NSNC site does not make the columns available for public perusal, it does tease us with judges' comments on the columns that made it. So here's a list of what beat me in the humor category (under 100,000 circulation), based on those thin descriptions:

1st place--Squirrels

2nd place--A call for a "Dissident Zapper" to "reprogram disbelievers"

3rd place--"Latent bestiality"

Honorable mention #1-- A backyard

Honorable mention #2-- Something "outrageous, irreverent and obscene"

Between this and a disturbingly gleeful rejection slip I recently received from a major publisher, I can't help but laugh maniacally at the irony of life. Of course rejection happens to everyone, so I'm told as I read books by people like Ann Coulter, Ben Ferguson and Michael Savage.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to buy a bullet and rent a gun. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I can't afford to do either.

1 comment:

Flamingo Jones said...

I don't know about anybody else, but I'm really looking forward to an upcoming blog post about obscene squirrel bestiality in your backyard.