Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Paddled by the school board

People talk constantly about the need for education reform and the need for better-educated and qualified teachers. Well, yesterday I attempted to do my part. I visited my local school board to compile information on open teaching positions.

Oh yes, they assured me, we need English teachers at the secondary level! Oh yes, they assured me, we value someone with a master's degree who wants to help the children of tomorrow! Thank you so much for investing in the future!

Wait a minute, what was that? You aren't certified? Holy hell! No Child Left Behind requires all teachers to be certified by 2006! There's information on certification somewhere, but not here! And regardless of what some of your teacher friends told you, we won't help with you with the process! Good luck! And don't let the falling test scores give you paper cuts on the way out!

It's not that I'm opposed to certification; I'm just astounded by the sheer indifference that the school system shows someone who wants to join its ranks. Thanks, unfunded mandate! You're a real pal.

"We're looking for people like you, but not YOU!" Such is the story of my ongoing job hunt.

7 comments:

Mustang Bobby said...

Come apply to teach here in Miami-Dade County... Same thing, but we'll give you a three-year provisional certificate. If you have a pulse you can teach while you work on your certificate.

M said...

You should try for a social studies job, then you could un-brainwash the poor misguided youth of Lafayette

sociable_solipsist said...

Say, Ian, I think Flamingo might be able to recommend a program you chould that would "facilitate" your certification . . .

Ian McGibboney said...

Mustang Bobby: I would do so if that didn't mean moving to Florida. I love the place, but if I'm going to move then I'm getting away from humidity. Besides, living under one Bush is bad enough. I don't know how you handle it! Must be the scenery.

Manda: Un-brainwashing the poor misguided youth of Lafayette is a Herculean task best suited for, uh, Hercules. If he wasn't such a barbarian himself, that is. I think the only solution is to beam Not Right About Anything into our schools. What do you think?

Soc-Sol: I've heard many great things about Teach for America...on its own website. But you know Flamingo tested me on that one already. She asked me if I was interested, I said no, and she replied: "good...I'm still your friend then."

Mustang Bobby said...

Ian, the humidity isn't that bad -- certainly no worse than Louisiana if you're close to the shore, and air conditioning helps. I grew up in a very humid place in the summer (NW Ohio) and it's not as bad here. And Jeb! will be out of office in November 2006. If you're at all interested, check out www.dadeschools.net. we're seriously desperate for good teachers.

Ian McGibboney said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ian McGibboney said...

That's what I'm saying, Bobby: the humidity is exactly the same, and I hate that about here. I went to Miami in May of 2000 and enjoyed it very much, but I remember thinking that it was basically Lafayette with palm trees and more hotties.

Hmm....come to think of it...

But yeah...I'm keeping all of my options open. Except for states like Texas and Idaho. Creepy.