Sunday, April 17, 2005

Adding injury to insult

Yesterday afternoon, I severely sprained my ankle at a grocery store.

On my way home to get ready for a friend's wedding, I stopped by a neighborhood supermarket to buy orange juice and a pack of gum. After the clerk scanned the items, I realized I didn't have my wallet on me. Being that the store was supremely busy, I ran out to my truck to get my wallet out of the glove compartment. I jogged my way back to the entrance, when suddenly this older couple got in my way. I slowed down and moved to the left, causing my right foot to roll (mid-step) on the incline between the curb and the wheelchair ramp.

It sounded like a car accident and felt just as painful.

It must have been a really entertaining sight, for everyone in the store was suddenly looking at some kid with tears in his eyes, hugging the ground. One of the store's baggers helped me inside, got me an ice pack, and rang up my swag. I also got to meet every important person who works at the store, all of whom asked how I was in tones that screamed, "PLEASE DON'T SUE US!"

But all I could think about was how I had an hour to hobble home, shower, dress, and make it to the wedding. And working a track meet all morning and afternoon in the sweltering heat, I had taken extra precautions to avoid dehydration and overexposure to the sun. And dammit, I had succeeded, feeling really healthy and in-shape, ready for dancing with some of my cutest female friends.

But now my right foot sports a swelling the size of a doorknob. Made dancing kind of difficult, not that I can anyway. And all that for $1.81's worth of stuff.

Just wanted you all to know this in case you're wondering why this blog is currently walking with a limp.


Michael said...

As an athlete, I'm sure you're familiar with the acronym RICE. But on the off chance you're not, it stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. It's what you should do for the next couple of days with your ankle. I hope you feel better, Ian. I know what it's like to be feeling less than your best.

The Manning Report said...

what grocery store was it?
the albertsons on johnston?

Nick said...


Icon's a manager. His high school athletic days are way behind him. Nevertheless, when being a manager helps pay for your tuition, you do it. Besides, Icon always loved hanging out w/ us.

But yeah Icon, stores are really worried about lawsuits, thanks to those great trial lawyers. I remember a couple months ago, I was at Academy looking to get my dad something for his shop, and saw this really nice clock w/ a redfish painting on it. It was on a top shelf though. I was going to ask an associate to get it for me, but they looked busy. So, I decided that rather than take them away from what they were doing, I grabbed one of those little rolling steps and started to climb on. Those two guys couldn't have run fast enough to get me down, afraid I would fall and try to sue the store. I tried to explain to them that if my dumb ass fell from there, then I probably deserved it. However, they opted to get the clock for me. I guess so much for the days of helping yourself to spare store clerks some time.

Anyway, I hope your ankle gets better. Alcohol can usually help something like that.

oyster said...

Wasn't clear whether Nick was talking about applying alcohol or consuming it-- whatever you do, I hope you feel better as soon as possible.

sociable_solipsist said...

Orange Juice . . . That goes well with Pancakes.

Ian McGibboney said...


My high-school athletic days are indeed long behind me. But being a manager isn't exactly conducive to being a blob. If you've ever run around for eight hours working a track meet, as I did yesterday, you'd know that it can keep you pretty fit. Not cross-country fit, mind you, because you guys are psychotic. But that, combined with my running several times a week after track and cycling, does indeed make this sprained anlle all the crappier.

And yes, soc-sol, OJ helps. A lot.

Ian McGibboney said...

Manning, it was not Albertson's; it was Adrien's.

Oyster, thanks for that. It's one of the perks of having a brain; it's hard to ruin that without a lot of trauma.

Nick said...


Obviously, being the good ole boy I am, I was talking about consuming alcohol. Come on, I thought you libs were intelligent, applying alcohol does nothing for a bone, tendon, or muscle injury, only for cuts and infections.