Sunday, March 27, 2005

The Vanity Monologues

Decorate your plate the Louisiana way!

Inspired by the production of the currently Hello-halted license-plate graphic soon to be on my sidebar (as well as the recent spate of personalized-plate complaints on The Smoking Gun), I discovered a cool reference tool on the Louisiana DMV website. This search engine allows you to type in any combo of letters and numbers, telling you whether or not you can get it as a valid Louisiana license plate. Your inquiry can fall within one of three categories: available, not available and not acceptable. After a considerable amount of tinkering, I have come up with a list for those of you looking to obtain a Louisiana license plate.

Not acceptable:

HOOTERZ S O B OLDFART FUG DUP KILLER PISSOFF BONER IMDRUNK I SUCK WHORE PENIS IN LUST SCHMUCK ECSTASY


Not available (meaning people actually have these):

ATHIEST CHRIST SEXY LIBERAL DEALER YOMAMA BEAVIS GRINGO REDNECK HOOKER STOLEN

Available:

IAN ICON-2 DUH MILF MCGIBNY NOTRIGT SHIITE EXPIRED RACIST 911RULZ FACIAL WHITEGY IMSOBER SPHNCTR PUSYCAR HORNDOG RAPIST FEELUP STONER CRUDDY FELON DOURMOM SPEEDER COKBLOK SCREECH BUSHSUX OILJERK CANTDRV EATDUST CHEESY GOT GED FAILURE WRECK GOP HOR THECLAP HOLYRLR BADDRVR CRAPCAR IAMGOD


And why aren't these taken?

LA SUX LABLOWS IHATELA BORN269 COPSSUK POS CAR DWI MAN THIEF 3RD DWI HERPES BASTURD HALFAST PROST2T DAFINGR FLIPOFF


Move over, Google--I've got a new favorite reference tool! What's on your state's plate list?

9 comments:

Flamingo Jones said...

I totally looked at that page before I moved to LA! It was entertaining for me then, but your list is WAY funnier and more extensive.

The Manning Report said...

geez im suprised manning is still available

thehim said...

IH8COPS is Unacceptable (and probably a bad idea)

sociable_solipsist said...

Despite the availability of ILUVIAN, I think I'd be most satisfied with F BUSH, which I can't believe is still available.

You're post has started a whole new hobbie for me. HIGH-FIVE!

Ian McGibboney said...

Thanks, solipsist! It would be "High 5," but that one's taken.

Murph said...

I guess in the other L.A., so many vanity plates are in use that you can get stars, hearts, handprints, etc. on your plate. So you could do HIFIVE(handprint), which would have your car perpetually asking for a hi-five. Sadly, it could only be achieved if you got rear-ended by another car with a handprint on it.

MagicalShrimp said...

I would be fascinated to see what resulted from someone using a "herpes" plate.

gambitch said...

You're so lucky in America. Out here we don't get to pick our licence plates.

Oh, and I see you've reorganized your bloglinks. Cheers!

Ian McGibboney said...

Murph: I saw the heart thing on the movie "High School High," where Jon Lovitz' California plate said "I[heart]2teach." I thought it was a joke, but I guess I can see how the nation's most populous state would need symbols like that. I wonder how they call that on police scanners? "20-William-15, we're chasing a blue Lincoln Continental, plate numer Two Foxtrot Adam Henry Heart six two six!" (My police slang is a bit limited, hence the nonsequitur plate number.)

As long as I have the attention of an L.A. filmmaker, Murph, can you guys please get some new California plates? I just saw "Be Cool," and Christina Milian's license plate is 2GAT123, which is the same number as Judge Reinhold's squad car in "Beverly Hills Cop II." I notice stuff like that, dammit!

Magicalshrimp: I suppose a "HERPES" plate would be great for a hot girl who often finds herself in dangerous situations in a club. She could lead a guy on by saying, "I have condoms in my trunk," then taking him out to see the plate. Of course, that might backfire if the guy says, "Oh, good! I have herpes too!"

Gambitch: I always wondered why I never saw Australian personalized plates. As for the links thing, I'm trying to reorganize my sidebar to make it more manageable and efficient, not to mention more sexy. More changes to come.