Monday, March 14, 2005

Is there any single scarier indicator of the future direction of our society?

Target advertising at its most frightening Posted by Hello

From my sister's July 2003 Seventeen magazine comes this gem. Like, ohmigod!

If ever you've wanted to blow obscene amounts of money for the privilege to wear colorful shirts, slobber over boys in colorful shirts and play annoying drunken games with your paid-for sister (or, like, at least sound like you do!!!!), then this book is for you!

Along with the $20.90 charge for the book, you will also have to pay additional fees for the cover, a dust jacket, a bookmark and for the stylish typeface of every individual page. You will also pay for a shelf to keep it on, even if you have your own place to store the book.

Perhaps you're concerned about whether you should purchase "The Official Sorority Handbook." But don't worry about stereotypes: all kinds of people buy this book! Those who read it include varsity athletes, cheerleaders, honors students, ROTC cadets, student-government leaders and those from just about any other club. There is no model sorority-girl wannabe!

So as you've seen, "The Official Sorority Handbook" is a great way to meet people (even if it's only to be asked, "Why in the hell would you buy this book?") But don't get an Internet to get it, girls...the site no longer exists. But if you have the right connections, you can get, like, anything you want! And ultimately, that's what Greek life is all about.


MagicalShrimp said...

Ahh, seventeen magazine...which I grew out of when I was about..oh, 16.

I don't really get the point of sororities and fraternities. They don't seem to have them here. Sounds like high school all over again, only with harder school. Who the hell wants that?

Flamingo Jones said...

So, you buy this book to learn all the secrets to the fine art of buying friends.

Funny that a majority of those people grow up to call themselves "fiscally conservative."

The Manning Report said...

where has this ad been my entire life?

MPH said...

Is it sad that I bought three copies immediately after seeing the ad?

Phillip said...

what exactly makes it the "official" sorority book? a sorority notary or something?

M said...

Do they mention how to properly execute a "bimbofest" celebration?

Mustang Bobby said...

Well, you have to remember that if it wasn't for frats and sororities, College Republicans would have no place to learn how to fit in at country clubs and board rooms.