Monday, March 21, 2005

Caption Contest

"Unsafe at any speed" edition

--Gets 25 gallons to the mile
--License plate: "GOP HOR"
--The first-ever racist car
--Like any mediocre racer, this car ignores all caution flags
--This car has one checkered past
--In 2006, all cars must look like this
--No signals, no brakes, no reverse, no turning radius...this car stays the course!
--In true GOP fashion, this car built by the poor for nothing, sold by the auto industry at fat profit and bought by rich people at high cost
--As American as Mom and apple pie (this caption brought to you by Chevrolet)
--You should see the bumper stickers!
--Zero to 60 in 5.5 seconds...and out of Social Security just as fast
--This is one imperial Impala
--Not much under this hood
--From what I've heard about his past, Bush needs a pace car
--The 2000 model didn't sell, but the 2004 did well thanks to false advertising
--No money down, 0% APR...your kids will pay for it!
--Puts the "bender" in "fender bender"
--Low mileage, never driven off the beaten path...but enough about its namesake...


Mustang Bobby said...

Hot airbags are standard, but the radio only plays AM talk.

Phillip said...


the engine's running but there's noone behind the wheel.

oyster said...

A revived model that is actually worse than its early 90's predecessor, which looked like an upside-down canoe.

MPH said...

Oh KITT . . . poor KITT.

PusBoy said...

This car is really slow.

M said...

Now I'm ashamed to drive an impala :(

Liz "the Biz" said...

Where the hell are Bigfoot and Snake Bite when you need them?

Ruben said...

What can you expect? The car is as disfunctional as the guy who is is named after

Realitron said...

Introducing the first vehicle to go nowhere fast.