Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Fear by windshield wiper

Yesterday, UL students had the pleasure of finding this on their cars:

Almost here? The Doors recorded that 32 years ago! Posted by Hello

The above is a typical ad in the October 2004 issue (!) of The House of Yahweh Newsletter. The front article is entitled "Forty Nations Now Have Nuclear Capabilities: What Does This Mean for World Peace and Safety?" Here is a stirring excerpt:

I recently read the laws that the health department sends to morticians and was amazed at the number of diseases one can get from the dead body of a human being.

About fifty years ago when I was in college, I worked in a funeral home. Comparing the laws from then to now, I was amazed at the increase of the risk factor in touching the dead because of all the new diseases, viruses and parasites that have been created and mutated by the unhealthy habits of mankind in the past fifty years.

These diseases, viruses and parasites were created and mutated by mankind because they have broken the Laws of health.

So there you have it, folks! The world is threatened with nuclear winter because of our bodies' audacity to grow rank after death. Oh, how I pine for the good old days when men were men, women were pure and everyone was so clean that you could eat off their corpses! Too bad those bastard diseases had to go and violate our laws against them (I think that's what he's saying).

But what I find even more amusing is this group's attempt to scare us into apocalypse mode by showing us this picture:

I know...I drive by it every time I go to Baton Rouge Posted by Hello

I hope we avoid another holocaust as much as they do. Seriously. But I don't think Louisianians are going to be scared to piety by a picture that looks like the entire expanse of the Atchafalaya River, especially since the Cypress stumps in that river are considered vital examples of Louisiana beauty.

The Jewish Holocaust was one of the worst tragedies in world history. And the threat of war and disease is very real. And these are precisely the reasons why we need to examine these issues in a far-less-kooky context. Still, for what I paid for this newsletter, I got my money's worth. I can't wait to see what will be left on our windshields next!


The Manning Report said...

You paid for that.
Thats hilarious.

MagicalShrimp said...

The first one says $24.95, the next says $19.95. What are they going to do with all that money when the world's over? Bet on the fights in Thunderdome?

Ian McGibboney said...

Manning, that was a joke. I actually found it on the ground at Cajun Field among many others. Were you serious about that?

MagicalShrimp, I'm pulling for Mad Max myself. He's got the whistle that will neutralize Blaster's furious attack.

Michael said...

"The Jewish Holocaust was one of the worst travesties in world history."

Uh, Ian? "Travesty"? Please tell me that's a typo for "tragedy."

Ian McGibboney said...

Um, yeah.