Sunday, January 30, 2005

Caption Contest

Historic "Iraqi Election" Edition

--Dilbert voted for a larger cubicle
--Mahmoud's science-fair project (on the effects of Iraqi democracy on nearby walls) won first prize
--"I vote America off the island"
--How secret can the ballot be if an AP photographer can get all up in his face like that?
--The final toll: 56 percent for spackle, 42 percent for putty, 2 percent for "new coat of paint"
--The final toll: 18 percent democracy, 78 percent insurgency, 4 percent undecided/dead
--Blinders courtesy of the Bush administration
--Chads aren't the only thing hanging on Iraq's election day
--Unfortunately for the Iraqis, Rumsfeld printed out the ballots in English only
--Surprisingly, not a single Iraqi wrote in "George W. Bush" as their vote
--"Well, Cheney and Scalia did say it would be a lot like duck hunting!"
--Unbeknownst to his commissioner, he had secretly written the answers on his other hand
--"Democracy? Hell no, I'm Republican!"
--A truly Sunni day for democracy
--"Damn these choices! It's just the lesser of thirty evils!"


Anonymous said...

You are an idiot. How bad does it suck to know you were wrong about Democracy working in Iraq. What a tool. The Iraqis turned out to vote in greater percentage than our own election with the threats of death over their heads and all you do is take a cheap shot. Your liberal ideology lost again and your immaturity reigns supreme.

Prepare to lose more seats in Congress in '06 you dope!

The Manning Report said...


PusBoy said...

The number of votes began to increase around 2:00 p.m., when election officials moved the voting booth a few feet out of the sniper's line of fire.

Ian McGibboney said...

I always get a kick out of the anonymous posts. That takes real courage.

The Goblin Slayer said...

Hahaha!! It may have been cowardly, but the statement is awfully potent!

Doesn't it suck when W meets his goals?

Afghan Election.
Iraq Handover.
Iraqi Elections.

Ian McGibboney said...

Uh-huh, Goblin. If I make a well-reasoned statement on a right-wing site, I'm accused of being a bitter and pissed-off liberal, yet when a righty makes the blog-comment equivalent of "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" here, it's praised as being "potent." Real good.

Not sure if Bush's meeting his goals would suck, though, because he hasn't met any yet.

"Afghan Election." Conveniently, this resulted in the election of Harmid Karzai, the puppet the United States wanted in the first place. Everyone else was afraid to (or did) get killed.

"Iraq Handover." Cute.

"Iraqi Elections." I will admit this election is slightly less of a sham than the "elections" that always produced Saddam Hussein. Slightly.

Still. I don't think we invaded and occupied Iraq merely to install real voting. As I recall, it had something to do with weapons of the mass-destruction sort.

oyster said...

One of your best yet, which is saying something. My fave:

"Blinders courtesy of the Bush administration"

Phillip said...

Those anonymous comments are always such a testament to the intellect of their kind. Sort of like punching someone when they're not looking then running away.

Goblin Slayer sounds more suprised about the successful elections (although "successful" remains to be seen) than any liberal I've heard.

Also I think it's funny that Iraqis living in America had more polling places to go to for this election than American blacks did in November :)

MagicalShrimp said...

Wow, great zinger phizz!
Those captions made me look like a bit of a freak, snickering away in the college computer lab. Excellent work! *tea and medals*

The Goblin Slayer said...

LOL. Ian - can't you put your animosity aside for one day and realize that the Iraq election went off as planned? That democracy is beginning to get a foothold in the Middle East? That, unfortunatley for you, it wasn't accomplished by Madeline Albright or a Democratic Administration? See the light. Stop foaming at the mouth and realize that sane people want a say in how their government is run, not that a government should run the people. My goodness. You claim to be an American, yet you lack the basic understanding of government's purpose.

The "American Puppet" diatribe is right out of the Zarqawi talking points...well done.

I suppose an Iranian Puppet would have pleased you more. Perhaps an Osama puppet. At least with an Osama puppet, you can lay blame to Bush and Co. while the mass graves continue to fill. Then maybe Kerry and Klan would have seized the White House, eh?

What a joke, you and your liberal ilk.

-The Goblin

Ian McGibboney said...

Zarqawi? You win for most esoteric reference that I supposedly copy but have never read.

Flamingo Jones said...

I think Anonymous and pals are jumping the gun a bit. The results of the election haven't even been announced...the ramifications of the lack of Sunni representation and turn-out are still unknown....and they're already spiking the ball in the end zone? A little premature, I think.

I sincerely hope that this election IS a turning point in Iraq, but there are a lot of variables to consider before we know whether or not this exercise in "Democracy" is successful or not.

The Goblin Slayer said...

Oh really, Ian?!

From the horse's mouthIf you want to succeed as a journalist, perhaps you you should fact check before you open your sewer of a mouth.


The Goblin

Ian McGibboney said...

Goblin, I don't follow you. What are you talking about? What does that article have to do with anything that I've said so far? And why do you and your countless brethren so confidently assume what I read?

The Goblin Slayer said...

Quote from the Al-Jazeera web site:

Al-Zarqawi - "Numerous Arab regimes neighboring Iraq, following the lead of Mubarak's regime... took part, along with the puppet power [Iraqi interim government], in the massacre of Iraqis, the destruction of their property, as well as the training and arming of [Iraqi] policemen and national guardsmen," the statement said."

Although you were speaking about Karzai in the comment, you also called the Iraq election a sham which validates your puppet statement in regards to Iraq.

“I don't think we invaded and occupied Iraq merely to install real voting. As I recall, it had something to do with weapons of the mass-destruction sort.” – Ian McGibboney

Yeah, Ian, I guess we all forgot that the name of the invasion in March ’03 was “Iraqi Freedom”, not, “Purge Iraqi WMDs”

I thought Donks were supposed to be for the oppressed?

Ian McGibboney said...

The cause for the war changed almost by the day. Whether it was finding the weapons of mass destruction (that weren't there), deposing Saddam Hussein ("He tried to kill my dad"), liberating the Iraqi people (who welcomed us with gunfire instead of flowers), al-Qaida connections (which occurred after the war, thanks) among other shifting reasons.

As for the puppet thing, I'm not all that clear on what you're trying to prove. But it sounds to me like you're validating my point, or at least trying to by linking what looks like a Googled article for "puppet government." Are you trying to show that al-Jazeera and I agree on something? I'm lost.

And what the hell is a Donk? Is that another cute righty term for liberal, like "moonbat" and "muckadoo?"

Gideon Starorzewski said...

It must be terribly sad to be Goblin; that sewage he calls an ideology simply can't exist on its own. Instead, it needs to define itself by opposing rational (i.e. Liberal) thought.

I'm guessing so many right-wing moonbats feel the need to troll left-wing sites because they can't get hits at their own blogs any other way. Pretty pathetic.

The Goblin Slayer said...

Donkey = animal representing the Democratic party.
Donk = short for donkey.

The Goblin Slayer said...


Perhaps you should read a history book. It is the Socialist/Communist/Marxist ideology that doesn't work.

Ask the former Russian Premiere and where is East Germany?...

Question for you Semidi: Where would you rather live, North Korea or South Korea? Japan or China?

In case you haven't noticed a pattern of success, it was the USA that propped up the S. Korean and Japanese governmnets.

Ian - You and Zarqawi share the same feeling about the Iraq elections...a "scam" posed my "American puppets".

Gideon Starorzewski said...

As is typical of "conservatives," Goblin can't rebut my point so he goes completely off-topic.

The simple fact is that his ideology is nearly identical to classic German and Italian fascism (and the restrictive moral precepts embraced by America's right-wing are very similar to those espoused by Soviet Communists) but he's unable to admit this. Further, he's not even articulate enough to try and defend his ideology here or promote it at his *own* blog (if he has one) and attract fellow mentally-enfeebled right-wingers.

Wingnuts like Goblin need to define themselves by what they oppose, then try to tear down their opposition. A classic case of self-loathing being projected onto others, really.

The Goblin Slayer said...

Dude, you meds are wearing off. You were discussing ideology, hence my questions.

You answers are implied thorough your hatred of individual thought. Thaks for your cooperation.

The Goblin Slayer said...

My ideology consists of:

1. Freedom of the individual.
2. The right to bear arms.
3. Capitalism

In what way do these parallel Nazi Germany or Italian Facsism?

Phillip said...

Goblin, do you know those are liberal values too?

Ian McGibboney said...

Nazi Germany and Italian fascism both had elements of democracy and the illusion of freedom. I think everybody can get behind your points, Goblin, as Phizz says. The resemblance begins between the above two philosophies and neoconservatism in the details:

"Freedom of the individual." This becomes twisted into a perverted version of capitalism, one in which it becomes rude and immoral to ever help another person. This is currently being manifested in slashed welfare and other social-benefit programs, the attempted devastation of public-school funding (aka school vouchers), Social Security and Medicare cuts, etc.

"The right to bear arms." "Right" is different than "requirement." Like large segments of the United States today, the Nazis had an obsession with weaponry. They were some of the most effective and efficient killers this planet has ever known.

"Capitalism"While capitalism is a damn good economic system, its principles run amok without some degree of regulation. Our biggest mistake in this nation (and this world) is that we have taken capitalism out of its economic context and turned it into our social governance as well. The result of this is that our attitude about life and about money are now exactly the same. As much as possible, as fast as possible, as cutthroat as possible, and screw that other bastard if they can't or don't want to be rich. The problem with capitalism arises when people begin substituting it for democracy. The two are separate and can coexist if we'd ever give it a shot.

RightMakesRight said...

How about "Courage"?


gambitch said...

Long time since I last weighed in, considering I feel sorta out of depth here, but...

1. Fact check: The Goblin Slayer (TGS) had a blog. I say 'had', because it has already been deleted (presumably by TGS himself) by the time I last checked it.

2. More to the point, I wouldn't mind living in China's city areas even if TGS considers it repressive. I'd certainly have a problem with living in Japan if it means coping with its steep costs of living. Strange we talk about this, but China is much less bad than a section of Americans make it out to be. It certainly isn't in-your-face repressive, and I suppose you would have to have some pretty strong reasons to complain about the repression. Such as, for example, you've spent the last 30 years of your life living in America.

3. I certainly don't think Ian can be claimed to be on the same side as Zarqawi or the Al-Jazeera news people, just because their words happen to be loosely synonymous in the occasional instance. That's kinda pushing it... Conservatives and liberals occasionally agree on one or two things too, like steak tasting terrible when eaten cold. Does that make all right-wingers liberal? I suppose so, going by TGS' logic.