Friday, October 15, 2004

Stem cells: nerves of steel

For the Oct. 20 Vermilion:

Quadriplegic actor Christopher Reeve, paralyzed since a horse-racing accident in May 1995, died Oct. 10 of complications relating to his condition. We have lost one of the finest and most underrated talents of our time, one who showed us that the impossible can become the possible.

The totality of Reeve’s injury hit home for me just days after it happened, when my driver’s education class watched a training video in which he starred. Chris gave us a friendly intro, hopped into a convertible and offered driving tips. Our teacher stopped the tape several times because our paralysis chatter was overriding the lesson. It felt surreal watching the man give us tips on how to drive, knowing that he could no longer grip the wheel.

In the ensuing nine years, Reeve spoke out, wrote two outstanding books and worked tirelessly for his newfound cause. He became a high-profile example for those recovering from catastrophic illnesses. Always an activist, one of Reeve’s most personal political issues later in life involved stem-cell research, a field that offered his greatest hope for walking once again.

Reeve’s death marks the second high-profile death this year (after Ronald Reagan) from maladies related to causes that stem cells promise to treat. What are stem cells? They are the cells that determine the growth and development of human tissue. Once fashioned into a “line” (an infinitely reproducing cluster of cells), stem cells can theoretically be used to regenerate a severed spinal cord or an eroded brain stem. Current studies are underway to determine stem cells’ role in curing such maladies as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s Diseases, as well as paralysis.

Depending on whom you ask, stem-cell research is either mankind’s best hope or a one-way express rocket to Hell. The stem-cell extraction process, to most people, goes like this: scientists grow fetuses in a secret lab at UC-Berkeley, assisted by a harem of hippie sluts. Babies are then extracted feet-first from the womb and positioned to allow for maximum wailing while a doctor takes a large kitchen knife and slices the fetus like an orange. After exchanging high fives, the doctors slip the remains into a meat grinder. And voila!

Um, no. It’s true that the most effective stem-cell lines are derived from freshly fertilized human embryos; however, only embryos donated explicitly for this purpose are ever used. No actual babies (or fetuses) are ever in danger. Moreover, some stem cells can also originate from live people and even umbilical cords. Still, the Bush administration is no fan of such research, claiming that it violates godly standards. But if Superman and the Gipper dying so close together isn’t a divine sign, then what is?

Not that the theological aspect of it matters anyway. If U.S. law allowed religions to dictate medical practices, then we wouldn’t have hospitals (or, in some cases, doctors). Jehovah’s Witnesses, for example, are against blood transfusions because they believe that blood is part of one’s soul. Yet blood banks continue to pulse unabated, as does the door-knocking of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. When scientific advances that could save lives are on the line, doesn’t it make sense to support life?

In any case, stem-cell researchers have a long trial ahead of them. Any obstacles that lie ahead should involve medical applications, not the religious right. Nothing would have thrilled me more than to see Christopher Reeve and Ronald Reagan chatting on a morning jog. But whether or not stem-cell research could have saved them in time, the fact remains that the potential remains out there for the next generation of the afflicted. You might even say it’s our mission to tap this amazing resource.


Emily said...

Hi, You should Check This Out. Get a Free Flatscreen TV or LCD Monitor. Just click on link to find out more. FreeFlatScreen

Ian McGibboney said...

Wow! The first-ever example of corporate whoring on Not Right. Emily, you should feel special. I suggest you visit my blog links and spam them as well. Look under "opponents." They'll want flatscreens to see Bill O'Reilly in all his sexually harassing glory.

Murph said...

Can you get a flatscreen TV made out of stem cells? Or maybe 50 mg of Viagra?

But seriously, good argument. From an efficiency standpoint alone, the argument to the Christian Right should be: if babies are getting killed through abortion, shouldn't something good come out of it? Of course, the answer will probably be that abortion is wrong, but I would think that if the devil is running the country, you could at least make the best of it.

Nick said...

Yes, Christopher Reeves would have been able to walk if not for that damn George W. Bush. But you see, Bush wants to keep everyone down. He wants people to remain sick b/c: 1. It helps the evil health care and insurance companies. 2. The evil Halliburton makes wheelchairs and we don't want Halliburton's profits to decline.

However, if John Kerry becomes president, all these poor, unfortunate people w/ serious physical and mental problems will be healed!! Well, at least Kerry knows how to gain more votes, make all the old people and handicap people believe that Bush just wants them to remain handicap and John Kerry will heal them like he were Jesus.

gambitch said...

I think Emily may well be a spambot - but if that's true it's quite scary to think that bots can now write their own blogs and do other such 'neat' stuff. Otherwise there's a bored soul out there who should be offered for stem cell research!

More seriously, Bush needs to come to terms with the fact that, much as he hates abortions, they are happening in America. I agree that you might as well recycle some of these aborted babies for the people's good. When someone manages to completely eradicate abortion from America, then we'll think of something else.

Flamingo Jones said...

Hey Ian, you don't happen to have the number to call to apply for that Berkeley Hippie-Slut Assistantship, do you?

Ian McGibboney said...

Not right off, Flamingo, but I hear they have lots of openings.

Anonymous said...

Hey Murph, I feel the need to clarify here...

Stem cell research has about as much to do with abortion as birth control does. Embryos, NOT fetuses are mostly what the big fuss is about. An embryo is just a few microscopic cells in a pitre dish. On top of that, there are currently thousands of frozen embryos waiting to be used for the research and they will be thrown away whether or not new lines of research open up.