Sunday, October 10, 2004

Drive to caption central

From The Manning Report, the best site in the world

A new kind of K-Car Posted by Hello

Read the interesting story behind this car at http://www.trilobia.com/kerry.htm

--The President has been totally redesigned for 2005
--Introducing the new Kerry Continental
--This car is more economical in terms of lives per gallon
--Its battery will really jump-start the economy
--Unlike the Bushmobile, this car can change directions!
--Appeals to soccer moms and hippies alike
--This Ford's always focused
--A little slow on pickup, but pulls through when it counts
--Even if you wanted another one at first, this car sticks to you
--Tears through Bushes without a scratch!
--A real Road Warrior for our times
--John Kerry can pimp any ride!

30 comments:

Liz "the Biz" said...

Hmm. Okay, but if you ever want to sell the thing, it's gonna be a bitch to peel all those bumper stickers off.

Ian McGibboney said...

The owner of the car said he was about to give it a new paint job anyway.

The Manning Report said...

Wow way to steal off my site. Do you do this for all your articles?

Ian McGibboney said...

No, mine are well-written.

oyster said...

Ian might not, but I get all my stuff from the Manning Report. I've never seen more illuminating commentary! Thank you, and keep up the great work, brah.

Kyle said...

In reference to Ian's pompous remark to The Manning Report:

Gosh, Ian, you are a total dick. What a self-righteous putz. I hope you get a horrible ear infection and get your ass kicked by a chick.

Hegemon said...

"Zero to reverse in 5 seconds"

or

"Shifts like the wind"

The Manning Report said...

Actually this isn't the first time I've caught him stealing other people's stuff. He did an article for the newspaper last spring and used some really one of a kind reference to George Bush. I Google'd it when I got home, and guess what. There was only 1 link that came up. I'll try to look through my stash of newspapers to see what words he used but the site he got it from was the rude pundit. Which I am sure alot of people are familiar with. http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/ .

Ian McGibboney said...

Carl P: "Gosh, Ian, you are a total dick. What a self-righteous putz. I hope you get a horrible ear infection and get your ass kicked by a chick."

Dick...ass...chick...infection...you bitter about something, dude?

Ian McGibboney said...

Manning, you are making a serious accusation that I plagiarized a work of mine. Care to offer even a bit of proof? I challenge you to find 1)the column in question and 2)the post from rudepundit that I supposedly ripped off. For someone making such a serious accusation, you don't back it up well at all. Do you realize that people get fired and ruined over allegations such as these? Get back to me when you can make a case.

For the record, though, I don't recall ever visiting rudepundit until tonight. It's possible I might have, but if I did it wasn't recently, and it wasn't enough to stick in my memory. I certainly wasn't actively into the blogosphere last spring (I started June 1, 2004).

I would remind you, however, that "one-of-a-kind" references can be found anywhere if you know where to look. And as both a journalist and a graduate student, I sure as hell know how to research things both online and off. And it's no secret that I often generate my topics from things I read online. I got news for you--every columnist does that. We don't live in a vacuum any more than you do. But there's a huge difference between writing commentary based on a news item and plagiarizing. It's apples and oranges.

Carl called me pompous. I'm not pompous, but what I am is confident enough in my own writing to make it my own and never try to resemble or copy from anyone else. I spend many hours each week (and sometimes each day) crafting it just right. For the little pay I get from the newspapers (and, on this blog, for nothing), I nevertheless put out the best product I can because I believe in my words. I feel that I owe it to my readers to make something special. For this reason, you never see entries where I merely link to someone else's site. And if I did do that, I definitely wouldn't be attacking others for writing original commentary on their sites like you do.

So, as I said before, please show me where I have been plagiarizing. You know, I can't be sure these guys aren't plagiarizing ME. It's happened before! And, if as you say I HAVE been plagiarizing, your large stack of newspapers should present some pretty damning evidence. It's good to know I have a watchdog. And I'd definitely be interested to see what that watchdog has pooped up.

gideon said...

What a joke... Stop hiding in this humble blog! Move on to writing for Newsweek or whatever casual publications u love.. I hate to see your talents only stretch this little.. U deserve more than compliments! Oh yea, teach me a few tricks about writing will ya? =)

Phillip said...

ian - you're forgetting that they are republicans. since when have they needed fact upon which to base wild accusations?

great economy! iraq-great!

Shannon said...

Hey, Manning...

You're new to blogging I see (11 posts, unless you've had a previous blog), so I'll explain something to you. One of the really cool things about blogs is how they spread information from person to person. People often read about something on someone else's blog, post something about it on their own blog, and spread it on to people who wouldn't know about it otherwise. Look up "meme," if that helps.

If Ian indeed found the Kerry Car link through your blog, then perhaps he should have said Via The Manning Report or something... as a courtesy. That's all. He didn't quote you. He posted the same link. Big whoop. That's what makes the web go round.

As far as your allegation of Ian plagarizing something for one of his columns, you need to substantiate that claim NOW. That's not something you just throw around. Put up or shut up.

The Manning Report said...

I'll put up as soon as I can, unlike Ian, I am actually in a hard major. I have a Biology test this week, but once thats over I'll substantiate my claims. I don't have the time to sit on my computer and do nothing but blog all day like some of you. I wouldn't have said anything if I couldn't back up my story, so just hold your horses. It's coming.
I know for fact as well, that the rudepundit did not copy Ian's story, because the rude pundit's story was written months before Ian's was even published.

Ian McGibboney said...

"I'll put up as soon as I can, unlike Ian, I am actually in a hard major."

First off, how do you know what major I'm in? Have I ever mentioned that anywhere? Just in case I haven't, I am an English graduate student with a degree in journalism. I know biology is a difficult major, I won't argue with you there; in 14 semesters of higher education, I've only dropped one class ever: Biology 121, Spring 2000. I retook it in Fall 2001 and barely scraped by with a C. So I respect that discipline.

That said, however, majors such as Biology, Physics, Math and Engineering benefit from something that English lacks: definite answers. English requires critical thinking skills and develops them in a way that benefits every major, which is why EVERY university student requires at least six hours of English instruction as freshmen. As for journalism, that field often requires quick and dirty research based on the article. Reporters often find themselves doing a story on, say, a local priest one day and a master mathematician the next. That right there is two completely different disciplines to learn and decode for your readership.

Good journalism requires that a person know how to write, how to research on the fly, how to take and transcribe furious notes, how to communicate cordially and effectively, how to get people to talk to you about important (and often deeply personal) matters and how to do all of this in what often amounts to mere hours. It's difficult, frustrating and tedious at times. But it's necessary. I know people that have dropped out of journalism quickly and went into what they saw as less-demanding majors, such as visual arts, English and yes, even biology. It's college, man! It's all hard.

"I don't have the time to sit on my computer and do nothing but blog all day like some of you."

You certainly had time to sling wild accusations on my blog! And by the way...speaking for most bloggers out there, I do indeed have a life outside of this little blog. Somewhere around 98 percent of my friends and family are not even aware that I have a blog. I go to school, work three jobs and keep pretty busy socially. I just happen to like doing this as a hobby. Much like you.

"I wouldn't have said anything if I couldn't back up my story, so just hold your horses. It's coming."

Then you should have waited until after your test to say anything at all. How are you going to drop a bombshell after tossing a spitball that missed its target? I couldn't accuse you of academic dishonesty and then tell your dean that "uh, I'll have the evidence next week." That's irresponsible. Anyway, the way you said it, you sounded like you knew exactly where it was; so why do you need to dig deep? Hell, the way you throw unfounded accusations in the air, you might have a career in right-wing journalism waiting for you!

"I know for fact as well, that the rudepundit did not copy Ian's story, because the rude pundit's story was written months before Ian's was even published."

This is the aspect that intrigues me the most. Months-old post, huh? I aim for better inspiration than that. Still, there's more to the time issue than meets the eye. Up until this semester, I had an eight-day lead time on my columns. That means that, for Wednesday's paper, I had to turn it in the previous Tuesday. Awful! I often saw statements similar to mine being published before my column had a chance to see the light of day. That wasn't plagiarism, of course, but it kind of took the wind out of my stuff. Some columns are written up to a year before publication (such as "Jesus for President" and a few still up my sleeve). In any case, I have most of my older columns stored, in final form, on my other computer, complete with a date/time stamp. I'll stack those against your allegation anyday. Bring it on!

Ian McGibboney said...

This post hasn't been much for captions, has it?

By the way, Gideon, thanks!

jetbanana said...

"I don't own an SUV, but my family does." Ah, the joy of being a kept man.

jetbanana said...

"Step right up, my bruthas. After one, yes, just one, spin in the Kerry/Edwards stem cell mobile, the lame will walk, the blind will see, the deaf will hear."

Shannon said...

"My other car is a parking decal."

The Manning Report said...

crazy stuff happening today, physics professor locks himself in his room and says he has a bomb and that hes the black messiah.

Kyle said...

Manning - Do you go to Berkeley? NYU?

The Manning Report said...

i go to the same school as ian doees. ul lafayette

Phillip said...

My aunt works at the library and said that he slapped a female student in class. Something about forgetting to take his medication for something.

Cersten said...

That's very amusing! Nice Site!

Ian McGibboney said...

I should probably put up a post on this, and I still might if I have time, but here's what I know about today's incident:

First off, I admit that I just heard about this through your comments. I had no classes today so I wasn't on campus. But the Advertiser (theadvertiser.com) is reporting that Louis Houston, a physics instructor and local musician, was creating a disturbance. They don't really pin down what he did (it's a confusing read), so we might have actually scooped them here. Wouldn't that be something? My immediate, ignorant analysis: this strongly resembles Martin Lawrence's traffic incident in L.A. a few years back, when he suffered from heat exhaustion and forgetting to take his meds. Hopefully it won't ruin the man if that's the case.

Ian McGibboney said...

Cersten, thirty-something flirts are always welcome here!

Houston said...

I took a moment and looked up the characters in this discussion. Being from Louisiana bayou culture, I just wanted to step in here and tell Ian I've got his back. You m'fkers bring it on. You be a light-weight bunch of shit. My sister can kick your asses.

To those of you reading this who are not from Louisiana, I have just seriously disputed the masculinity of Ian's accusers who possessing an insignificant amount of knowledge about a particular subject feel qualified as experts, only to be challenged by others.

I invited my several readers over here to observe and perhaps to participate in this discussion. You boys be sure to smile at the camera. There's more people watching than you might think.

I like witnesses. This is cheap, but SEE PARIS HILTON FUCK VIDEO HERE. That ought to bring you about 1,000 visitors in the next hour or so. Sorry, Ian. You're welcome to edit this last paragraph out if you want to, but I say as long as you're humiliating the fucker, get an audience.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ian McGibboney said...

Thanks, Houston...

By the way, where IS your site? Your profile is disabled. And do you really have a link to Paris, or was that simply Google-bombing? Either way, thanks.

[Post deleted and reposted under my name.]

Michael said...

Ian: The post Houston is talking about is here.