Saturday, July 31, 2004

Fall fashion for fascists


Putting the "shit" in "shirt" Posted by Hello

At last! The most honest Bush-Cheney shirt I've ever seen!

At last! A shirt that shows off the friendly face of compassionate America! Sure, that face looks like Skeletor, He-Man's old nemesis, but then again, Peace Isn't Pretty. And I'm sure that deep down he has a heart of gold. Or is that the flames?

At last! A shirt that shows the true meaning of compassionate conservatism and the importance of unity, not division. So "Pansies, hippies, dirt bags and freaks, shut up and stay out of the way."

At last! A shirt that alerts us to the heretofore unknown fact that the War on Terror is a dirty job!

This shirt is available (for $18.99, because Freedom isn't Free) at Metrospy, an online W-Mart that carries this odd disclaimer:

"Campaign finance law does not allow proceeds from this Site to benefit the Bush-Cheney campaign. This law applies to ALL political merchandise websites, INCLUDING THE OFFICIAL BUSH '04 STORE. If you support the President, one of the best places to buy t-shirts and buttons is right here, with METROSPY! :)"

With that doubletalk out of the way, Metrospy describes its shirt in a way that would make Bill O'Reilly nod with approval:

"If you listen to the nutty-left: People like Al Gore, Michael Moore, John Kerry, Howard Dean, Mad Donna, Jorge Soros and others, they expect Americans to roll over and cave in to terrorism. Fortunately, none of these screwballs run the country. The only way to stop terror is to fight terror. Terorrists [sic] must be hunted down and killed. - It's a dirty job. Thank God we have a President willing to do what has to be done."

Outside the Beltway is raving about the shirt in ways I couldn't spoof if I tried:

"You've never seen a Bush-Cheney T-Shirt like this before. This historic piece of political swag is destined to incite near riots on every college campus in America. Be part of the action and order this amazing T-Shirt today! Click to Order the Greatest Bush-Cheney T-Shirt Ever Made."

"100% cotton"...guaranteed to shrink in heat. Like Bush.
"Strong, durable and guaranteed to last." Unlike Bush.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

This is so awesome! We are like antithesis-es (if I may coin a word) of each other.

This is great really.

It's like the Hannity and Colmes
of the USS BlogosphereJ.A. Olinger

Ian McGibboney said...

That's half right, Josh!

Like Hannity, you're conservative, loud and incoherent.

I'm just like Alan Colmes, if Colmes would stomp Hannity's ass every week and wasn't just a tool for Fox News.

Anonymous said...
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oyster said...

Speaking of alan colmes, I think recent photos of him next to the tales from the crypt skeleton would have a "separated at birth" effect.

Ian McGibboney said...

And Bush is perilously close to being there too...

Anonymous said...

Hello Infidels! Got a brand new post for you and a web poll, Woo Hoo!!!

Ian McGibboney said...

That's the dumbest poll I've ever seen that wasn't on Bush's site. Even when I put an answer, it still showed a 100-percent response to "Christian Compassionate Independant [sic] Conservative."

Push-polling: your last resort as a conservative.

Anonymous said...

That's the dumbest poll I've ever seen that wasn't on Bush's site. Even when I put an answer, it still showed a 100-percent response to "Christian Compassionate Independant [sic] Conservative."
Push-polling: your last resort as a conservative.
Easy now, I have been doing alot of work on my blog, perhaps you posted at a wrong time. There are only 3 votes there and all for the first one, which is me and apparently two others that wandered over. I voted first, and you can only vote once, technically. I guess you could cheat somehow but what is the point? I wnt to see how it goes. Send all your Anarchist buddies over and others that would fit into one of those nice [sic] descriptions.
I think we will have to wait for it to fill up a little before you start to see any real statistics.
So what does [sic] stand for. I have seen it in mags, on posts....so what is it?...I assume it is detracting some how.

Ian McGibboney said...

J,

[sic] stands for "spelling is incorrect." It's used by people who quote others to show that the spelling mistake is theirs, not yours.

About your poll: after I voted, it did not show my bote. Just to be sure, I went back and voted again. Still no dice. Most polls don't do that; the point is that you can see your vote immediately afterward and how it measures up.

oyster said...

Uh, same thing happened for me also when I voted. By the way, what a killer response that poll is generating! Has Zogby been notified?

Ian, the deadpan manner in which you explained "sic" struck me as very humorous in this particular case. Thanks, whether you meant it to be funny or not.

Anonymous said...

Thanks oyster. I try.

By the way, hasn't Zogby, even in its partisanship, saying bad things about Bush lately? The jig might be up soon. Knock on wood.

Ian McGibboney said...

Incidentally, I don't know why that posted anonymously. I hate that.