Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Dog Movies

As seen on the @ianyourhead tweeter and here for the first time

The Truth About Cats and Dogs Should Be Obvious To Everyone
Dangerous Fleaiasons
A Hard Day's Bite
Fetch Lives
Happy Treat
A Fistful of Collars
Leashal Weapon
I Know What You Vacuumed Last Summer
Pit Bull Durham
Dachsund Hollywood
I Am Lifting a Legend
Beggin' 2: Electric Boogaloo
I, Ruffbot
Mange Max
Purina Luck
Hair EVERYWHERE
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Panting
Scootch Pilgrim vs. the World
That Thing You Poo!
Fifty Shades of Greyhound
The Fan (That's Terrifying)
The Good Son (Is the One Who Plays With Me)
Spaying Alive
In Heat
Without a Baggie
Who's a Good Boy, Charlie Brown?
Alpolice Academy
8 Heads in a Doggie Bag

Monday, July 28, 2014

When freedom is mandatory

One episode of the short-lived prime-time cartoon Allen Gregory had the title character’s school hosting a gay dance, which Allen’s same-sex parents had pushed for in the name of tolerance and inclusion. Which, on this show, meant that everyone was required to go with a member of the same sex, whether or not they wanted to. It was a ridiculous caricature of gay rights, much like the whole show was a ridiculous caricature of insufferably stuffy liberals (who actually are ripe for satire, if done right).

That episode came to mind for me when I read that the NRA suggested we have “gun-required zones” and make shooting compulsory to pass grades in school. Never mind the obvious peril of putting firearms into even more hands and the insistence that target ranges are financially feasible when many schools can’t afford new books — is a right really a right if you’re forced to exercise it? I’m all for the First Amendment, but if you want to not talk, that’s fine by me. No one can force you either way. That’s why it’s a right.

Another unflattering comparison that springs to mind is the dystopian Biff’s Pleasure Paradise from Back to the Future II. It’s easy to miss, but the casino has a sign at its entrance that says, “smoking required.” Some people (not me) will insist that people have a right to smoke in public places, but I’d imagine most of them don’t favor forcing everyone to light up.

I, for one, never want to step anywhere where guns are required. I don’t visit war zones and don’t want to see America turn into one at the hands of the paranoid. But it would be nice to see these guys’ sudden interest in funding schools and expanding government subsidies used for good. Like, I don’t know, feeding the poor. And education. Real education.